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By Jeremy Azevedo

Everybody knows that people who go to art school are essentially attention whores with unrealistic expectations. The general consensus is that most every art student is a stoner with rich parents that want their little self-absorbed emo douchebag child to graduate from college, even if it's some kind of Micky Mouse drawing college that has commercials on late night TV...

But are all art school students really as 2-dimensional as all that? It just so turns out that I number among their kind, and am prepared to share with all of you what I've learned about the different kinds of people that populate this misunderstood niche of American culture:

The Rich Kid


One hour later, this asshole will be telling everyone he's from Compton or something.

This prick comes from a rich family, but you’d never know it because they are pretending to slum it in art school until they run out of drug money and have to go back to work at their father’s company. This person will never actually become an artist, let alone graduate. But they do always have blow, and can probably pull chicks from the upper caste that would never talk to you otherwise, so they’re great to have around.

The Genuine Maniac


Now this is why they don't paint nurseries with lead-based paint any more.

Everybody in art school pretends to be stranger than they actually are to get attention. It just goes with the territory. This person is not faking it. The Maniac is a person that is so crazy, he makes everyone else look like a total square. This weird bastard will either greatly annoy you or greatly entertain you, depending on your tolerance level for paintings made with human feces, taxidermied duck fetuses and ten foot tall prints of the artists balls, slathered in macaroni and cheese. It’s best not to ever make direct eye contact with The Maniac, but seeing other people’s reactions to their “work” is almost always a laugh riot.