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By The Most Pissed-Off Dude In The World

We live in a sick, sad world, in which people do the sorts of things that would make Caligula blush on a daily basis.

Despite the fact that there are numerous other things that should warrant our immediate attention, there are countless people willing to instead devote obscene amounts of time and money toward deciding whether or not certain people can legally get hitched. True story!



Two gay people getting married is hardly shocking or inappropriate next to the laundry list of horrible, reprehensible and criminal acts perpetrated by our fellow men and women upon us on a regular basis.

To further illustrate this point, I’ve compiled a comprehensive list of things that are significantly worse than gay marriage, but are not necessarily illegal (though they should be):

Having sex with a robot



Seriously, how is it not okay for a couple of gay men or women to get married when there’s people out there having sex with robots? At least a gay couple probably love one another. But a robot? Merely trading sexual favors for electricity and general maintenance my friend. Turn your back on your robo-mistress for one minute and she’ll be sucking off the next guy with a working electrical outlet faster than you can say 011101011011110101.

The new Chris Cornell/Timbaland album

Seriously dude, if your going to have an embarrassing mid-life crisis, do it on your own time.