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By Henry Bean |
Since all I have to do all day is lie around and watch TV, it was only natural that Crave called me up and asked me to cover the World Cup soccer tournament. What I’d really like to write about is this weird smell on the sidewalk down the street, but Crave insists that the World Cup is some kind of news. I guess it gives me something to do. After all, I’ve been collared and suppressed all 3 years of my life, so it’s been nothing but TV and barking at those c**k-sucking post office workers. Yeah, I know who they are. I know what they do. I don’t like it. |
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How can you not bite these a**holes?
So between naps I’ve been trying to watch this soccer stuff. First of all, soccer guys, you don’t kick a ball, you bite it. Occasionally the soccer players try to bite the ball, but it usually just hits off their head. Idiots. No wonder they have those nets around to stop the ball from going out of the yard.
