How J-Stache Spent His Vacation

By J-Stache

Being a hard-partying mustache is not easy.  Far from it.  It's a whirlwind of sex, drugs, rock-n-roll and constant grooming.  After one particularly crazy night out, the ol' Stache found himself out of his natural habitat and lost in the Grand American Wasteland (aka "The South").  I decided to take the opportunity to vacation and see the sights that most average folks ignore.  Also, I saw some of those same average folks.  BOY ARE THEY UGLY!

I took some candid photos during my travels, brought to you exclusively by my friends here at CraveOnline.

By the way, I still owe like $14k worth of bail bonds, back taxes, and dealers to pay off. Buy my iPhone app, Run J-Stache Run, would you? Being as awesome as me ain’t cheap.

Note to self, invest Run J-Stache, Run advance in Solo Cup Company and never ever eat another Whopper.

There are some lessons only a sore anus can teach.

Mescaline is a sick and twisted experience kids. Learn from this.