 By Nathan Jordan |
Hey, folks! It’s your favorite, newly-divorced gossip columnist back on the scene just in time for the Oscars! That’s right, it’s time for me to roll out my annual picks and predictions for this year’s show. (I really do wish Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakquel was nominated for Best Animated Feature. I hear whispers that some critics didn’t like it, but come on, people! What’s wrong with being HAPPY?!?!?!?!?!?!) |
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Will SANDRA BULLOCK win an Oscar after all these years? She's due, that's for sure. She should be rewarded for her fine work in Demolition Man.
My pick for Best Picture this year is without a doubt, Avatar. It's not only the critics' pick for the best movie ever made, but I saw it at a time when I was feeling a bit depressed about my divorce. But then I saw the Na'vi, and I thought, "I may be feeling blue, but they are blue, so what do you have to be depressed about, knuckle head?"
If PAUL NJ OTTOSON and RAY BECKETT don't win the award for sound mixing, I'm going to cut my testicles off with a knife.
This year, there are 10, yes 10, Best Picture nominees. Wow! One for each week my ex-wife, Ambrosia, and I were married.
