 By Spaceman From The Future |
Greetings Carbon-Based Units! T'is I, the Spaceman from the Future. CraveOnline has once again intercepted my DataStream and hard-wired my consciousness into the internets of 2010. |
As I often drop in to observe you puny, primative minds, I like to sample the art and culture that you create. It gives me a window into the collective psyche of the mentally-handicapped, average American citizen. Your "Desperate Housebots" or "Cougar Tron" filmedentertainments amuse me greatly. I happen to be a well-known director of holo-blips in the 35th Century, so I understand art.
It was with this open mind that I walked into your IMAX theater here in Burbank to see James Cameron's latest project, Avatar. The first thing that chapped my robo-ass was having to wear the IMAX glasses.
In my time, the IMAX experience is far less intrusive.
Prior to presentation of the large-format celluloid projection, we were treated to some quaint, "modern" commercial advertisements. I was not previously aware that your people still consumed Coca-Cola, as in my time, Coca-Cola is known to cause something we refer to as "bitch tits." That seems to be a mild epidemic on your planet, but the root cause has clearly not been diagnosed at present. Trailers for films coming out in the next year followed the advertisements. I can divuldge to you now that they all are horrible. Even that one that looks interesting. You remember, the one with that guy. He plays the superhero who has to save the world. Yes, it's not good. I hate to be the one to break it to you, Earthling.
