Chunky glasses
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The square plastic frames whose daring astounded your friends in 2003 were the uniform of your marketing demographic by 2005. When you bought them off eBay, you had never seen anything like them, but get ready to see a dozen identical frames on children who come to your house on Halloween night, 2029, gleefully shouting “Trick or treat! I’m a graphic designer!” The trend seems inevitable in retrospect, but when you bought those glasses, you had no idea it was coming. It’s almost as if you had a hard time seeing things that are far off.
Pointy hair
Nothing says “It’s 2004, and I’m vaguely punk rock” like a haircut that scrapes plaster off the ceiling. It got you a handjob at the Blink 182 concert and a desk job at the tanning salon, and going strong. So what if it messed up your friend’s dreamcatcher that one time? Your anime hair is to the 2000s as big curly afros were to the 1970s: gross and ridiculous, and sure to be reprised by future trick-or-treaters in the Postapocalyptic Free State of New Jersey.
