 By Chest Rockwell |
So I was watching Mike Judge's "Extract" the other day... Early on, there's a scene in which the main character, Joel (played by Jason Bateman), details his wife's propensity to "close the doors to the candy shop" by donning a pair of sweatpants promptly at 8pm each and every night. |
These sweatpants are effectively a chastity belt for which there is no key. I think this is something we've all experienced at some time or another, but why do we put up with it?
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I’ll bet that the when you started seeing your girlfriend exclusively, you thought the days of sex anywhere, anytime, anyhow would never end. It must come as some surprise to you then, that you increasingly find yourself to be the recipient of all manner of anti-sex excuses.It doesn’t matter how hot the relationship started out, once a female has commitment, you can set your watch and warrant that the express train to Box City will be making significantly fewer stops as days go by.
Whatever you do, don’t give in to this!
We’ve heard all the excuses before, believe me, and since we’re no longer allowed to possess Rohypnol due to a court appointed order, we’ve compiled a list of those excuses that are the most common and the most effective ways to combat them. Have a look, and be prepared the next time your cow refuses to provide the milk that you bought it for in the first place!
Excuse: “I’m just not in the mood right now”
Counter: Get her in the mood. Light some scented candles (or incense if she’s, like, a hippy or whatever), put on some sexy music, and if all else fails, do the helicopter. Chicks love that.
