Real life James Bond contracts VD

Langley, Virginia was the sight of a bizarre showdown this morning as Daniel Sterling attempted to serve Ashley Humphries with court papers in person. Why this is news is simple, Daniel Sterling is a real life James Bond type super agent for the British Government. At least that was the case until Sterling allegedly contracted genital herpes from his American contact while on a case.

Sterling was forced to retire when it was discovered that the itching and burning sensation began to interfere with his ability to focus on his job. The British Minister of Intelligence had this to say when questioned: “We have been made aware that Mr. Sterling is no longer fit for active duty, due to the fact that his genitalia have become blistery and disruptive to his personal life. Since there is no known cure for this ailment Her Majesty’s only recourse is to separate Mr. Sterling from his duties while wishing him the best in his future endeavors.”

Sources close to Mr. Sterling believe that the former spy is sure that this ailment was inflicted upon him on purpose by the CIA, Ms. Humphries specifically. Apparently the two agents met while she was undercover as a prostitute named Valtrexi. The two had an affair before the mission was over.

Sterling arrived in the US early this morning with the intention of confronting Humphries but was stopped by customs after a tip said that the former agent was smuggling tainted twigs and berries into the country.     

There is no word on who delivered the inappropriate tip off, but Sterling is convinced that Humphries is the culprit.

The CIA had no comment regarding this matter and has not taken any action against Ms. Humphries or Mr. Sterling for that matter despite his repeated attempts to gain access to the CIA headquarters.

Crave Online will bring you more info as this story develops.