Telemarketer follows instructions and commits suicide

Sadness befell the small company of Lengster & Lengster a telemarketing firm in Connecticut. It started out as a typical day for young Eric Green as he started his shift at the company. Calling the west coast and offering everything from magazines to toaster ovens and even debt relief. Co-workers considered Eric a somewhat literal person, but they had no idea exactly how literal.

“We were all joking once by the water cooler when someone said to Eric, “get outta town!” we were all shocked when Eric sadly left town for almost three days before we called him and said we were kidding, I see now that he was in the wrong line of work.” -- Sarah Mickelson co-worker

On September 17^th Eric would make the last call of his short life. It was the last call of the day and there were only a few employees left in the office when Eric placed a called to a potential customer who asked to remain nameless in light of the circumstances. Here is an excerpt from the phone conversation:

Customer: Hello?

Eric: Hello sir, my name is Eric and--

Customer: Stop right there! Do you know what time it is?

Eric: Well sir it’s about 9:45 here.

Customer: Do you always call people during dinner?

Eric: Uhhh sorry?

Customer: You know what? I’ve had it with you jerks calling me during (expletive) dinner, do me a favor and kill yourself!

Eric: Sir?

Customer: Kill yourself, people like you deserve to die!

Eric:… ok…

“I had no idea that the idiot would immediately string himself up with a coat hanger and a belt. Did you see the bloody picture? He really got elaborate with it. I know I lost my temper, but that guy was in the wrong line of work.” -- Anonymous customer

There isn’t any word on whether they’ll be bringing charges against the customer. Local police aren’t even sure if a crime was committed or in what jurisdiction, Connecticut or California. Police from both states when asked who would take over the investigation were overheard negotiating who would take the lead on the investigation:

“One… two… three… NOT IT!!!!!!!”  The California Sheriffs then dove into their cars and peeled away to the airport.

Funeral services will be held for Mr. Green next week.