Good question? I—your trusty blogger have gone to great lengths to find out. Why can’t we get all sauced up and then fire off some heat? Here’s where you can go and what to do once you get there. Remember, be sure to have some breath mints beforehand.
1) SHOOTING RANGES. Hell yes. Unlike those pesky gun laws with their national 5 day waiting periods. If you down a few tall boys and go to a shooting range you can get handed a gun right away. You sign a bunch of forms that basically say if I end up shooting yourself or get shot, it’s your own dumb fault. All you need is an ID and a desire to shoot. Experience isn’t even necessary; it’s all done on the honor system.
2) HOW TO DRESS FOR THE SHOOTING RANGE. A good persona is to dress like a Jesus Freak. Wear a white, button-down shirt, fancy dress slacks, a crucifix and bowler hat. Tell the clerk, “You want to shoot for the Lord!”
3) CHOOSING YOUR TARGET. Some targets, like the Bad Man model, feature a mean-looking guy holding a gun. Another target called The Hostage involves a scary man holding a rifle, with a choke-hold around a woman’s neck and the rifle pointed at her head. Tell the clerk, you’re looking for a target with a dog on it. Explain that it must resemble your neighbor’s dog who barks too loud and digs up your garden.
4) THINGS TO YELL AT SHOOTING WHILE SHOOTING. Make comments about some ambiguous minority, simply referred to as “Them.” Better yet, while shooting, scream, “Take that! That’s what you get for dating my sister!”
Harmon Leon is FreedomHaters.org
