 By Dave Schilling |
The 2009 San Diego Comic-Con just ended, and there are many in the mainstream media wondering what drives this pop culture event each year. How did we as a species arrive at a point where we have a yearly event where people are encouraged to be anti-social? |
Personally, I blame communist infiltration and fluoridation of our water system, but that’s an article for another day.
Instead, I’d like to investigate a common problem nerds have whilst at the Con.
Let’s face it: Most of the panels during the Con are not exciting. For the 5 of you who still actively read comics, I’m sure meeting Geoff Johns was a real highlight of your life. For the rest of us, seeing a celebrity nipple slip or attempted suicide is the only reason we went to San Diego in the first place.
That means for most people, there’s a ton of time to kill while waiting for something fun to happen. You can only wander the convention floor so many times before you start to see Stormtroopers in your sleep.
What do nerds do between events at Comic-Con? I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!
Designing Your Costume
It’s all been done before. Superman, Batman, Doctor Who, Rorschach, Deckard from Blade Runner, Condoleeza Rice. Those costumes are old hat. If Comic-Con is about anything, it’s about being unique.
Nerds spend hours putting together their costumes, laboring over exact details of their outfits, making sure nothing is inconsistent with established canon.
The particular nerd in question here has wisely chosen the Kool Aid Man. The best part about this costume is that it requires NO clothes whatsoever. Also, it’s versatile. Empty your wallet of all money, throw on a gold chain, a toupee and a white blazer and now you’re a Persian!
Drinking Heavily
Drinking is a sign of maturity. It is what separates the 15 year-old kid who watches Sailor Moon and lives with his mom and abusive step-dad from the 25 year old man who watches Sailor Moon and lives with his mom and abusive step-dad. When you are at Comic-Con GET DRUNK. It is a signal to the female nerd that you are in fact an adult.
That 1998 Honda Civic missing 3 of the 4 hubcaps? Yes, that is yours. You paid cash for it. You even have a license for it. Just don’t expect to drive it.
Why?
Because you’re drunk.
You drive drunk at Comic-Con, chances are you run over Zelda trying to cross the street to catch a pedi-cab.
Make use of San Diego’s robust public transit system…or just stay in your room and experiment with autoerotic asphyxiation.
Autoerotic Asphyxiation
There was an episode of The X-Files about it. Check it out.
