 By BuckCherryFan420
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Dude, so like, people are always coming up to me and saying, BuckCherryFan420, how can I RAWK like you, bro? And I’m like, keep dreamin’, DOUCHEBAG, cause’ that ‘aint never gonna happen, you know what I’m saying? |
But then I got to thinking, bro, that maybe I could help you f**king dorks be at least half as ALPHA as I am by telling you some of the cool things I do that f**king RAWK, you know what I’m saying?
Also, these dorks, like, paid me to do it so now I sorta have to. Gotta stack cheddar for the Range, bro! You know what I’m saying? F**kin’ A!
Ok, the first thing you gotta do to RAWK like I do is make sure that your gear is right. You gotta put away the f**kin’ sweater vests and shit and get yourself some Affliction t-shirts and fitted caps, bro. Famous Stars and Straps are hella tight. Any Christian Audiger shit or stuff that says Hollywood or has strippers on it and shit is cool too. F**king ALPHA. Make sure you have some new dunks or Jordans on, bro, none of that pussy Converse stuff.
If you’re hella cool and alpha like I am, don’t be afraid to wear leather pants. They make your balls smell like a whore but they look SO F**KING ALPHA that bitches will be like, trying to rip them off you all the time and shit. So if you do wear them, you should probably know how to sew, dude. On account of all the ripping, I mean.
Next you gotta make sure that you’re listening to the right music. Of course, Buckcherry is the most alpha band of them all, that goes without saying. If you don’t agree, you may as well stop reading right now because you’re never gonna RAWK with that attitude, bro. Also I’ll kick your f**kin’ ass so get your shit together and start liking Buckcherry right f**king now, bro! I’m getting hella pissed at you right now… I’m gonna go pump some iron and blow off some steam before I jump right through your screen and choke your f**kin’ neck, you f**kin’ dork.
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Ok, I’m back. Sorry about that, dude, I just get so f**king PISSED when people don’t understand how ALPHA Buckcherry are. WHOO! It’s, like, retarded bro. There’s other bands that are cool too though. Hinder is pretty sweet, Motley Crue, Saliva, shit like that. Guns and Roses have that one song, “Paradise City” that I like to sing at karaoke and shit. I don’t even care if there other people have already sung that shit, like, 30 times before me bro, I just can’t get enough of it. Just don’t let me catch you listening to any of that lame f**kin’ indie shit, bro. That stuff is for pencil-neck dweebs and college boys, not alpha dogs like you and me.
