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Comedy Central's Roast of Bob Saget

Comedy Central's Roast of Bob Saget

Danny Tanner takes a beating!
Every once in a while, the cheap waste of potential that is Comedy Central will redeem itself by putting on a celebrity roast, reviving a beloved art form that first caught mass attention with the Friar's Roasts from our grandparets' time. For the most part, the new ones have been highly entertaining - a veritable who's-who of comedians descend on each event, waiting their turn to verbally crucify the guest of honor, as well as the rest of the comics sharing the stage. There's nothing quite like watching a clueless, see-through-top wearing Pam Anderson getting berated for two hours by people she's never seen or heard of before (except the cracked out mess that was Courtney Love, slobbering and stumbling next to her all night), watching Andy Dick squirm in mid-meltdown or hearing Lisa Lampanelli make stomachs turn with her black tampon proposition at Flavor Flav's roast. It's the rawest, best time on television, especially when the bleeps are dropped after midnight and we get the unfiltered raunch.

Producers bumped things up a couple notches for the Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget last Saturday, with an elaborate stage setting and presentation for the foul-mouthed, nerdy-looking former star of "Full House." With a lineup that included Norm McDonald, Jim Norton, Brian Posehn and the rest of the regular roasters, I had high hopes for Danny Tanner's event.

Roast cornerstone Greg Giraldo started things off in brutal fashion, slamming host and "Full House" co-star John Stamos on his failed marriage and his ex's new husband before moving on to the inevitable Olsen twins jokes aimed at Saget. The low point of the show came quick in the form of has-been Jon Lovitz. He looks to be about three months outside of applying for a job in a shoe store, and after first bombing hard on the season finale of "Last Comic Standing," he looked entirely out of place at the Saget roast. He comes from a school of comic delivery that's too nyuck-nyuck chuckly for modern crowds.

Cloris Leachman, winner of eight Emmy's and possessing more acting chops than everyone onstage combined, held her own through the inevitably brutal age cracks (she's 82) and stepped up with a surprisingly sharp set of her own. "I am not here to roast Bob Saget," she told the crowd, "I'm here to fuck John Stamos." As if that weren't enough to hear out of a woman who's seen two world wars and 14 presidents, Stamos stepped up at the end of the octogenarian's set and kissed her. Not just any kiss, either. We're talking slow, seductive, ass-grabbing smooching. Go, Uncle Jessie, go!

Brian Posehn and Jim Norton each delivered memorable segments, but Norm Macdonald is the reason I wanted to write this piece. Any real fan of comedy should understand that Norm's segment was the most brilliant moment of the night. His clear intention was to bomb ironically, telling straightforward jokes with terrible punchlines like "People say Cloris Leachman is over the hill. Cloris, you'll never be over the hill - not in the car you drive." His jokes were squirm-worthy uncomfortable, and less than half the live audience got the schtick. Lord only knows how hard he bombed among home viewers. Only the likes of Norm could pull off such an intentionally shitty delivery. His best SNL work was underappreciated (still my favorite Weekend Update anchor) and far off the beaten path of the show's slapsticky goofball personality code. He was too good for the show, and it was proven when he was asked to host the season premier of SNL just a few short months after being fired from it.

The absent Queen Vulgar, Lisa Lampanelli, may as well have been there and done a 15 minute set. She was talked about nearly as much as Saget himself, despite having a comedy repertoire consisting entirely of jokes about her love of sex with black men. Instead we got a bizarre performance by Gilbert Gottfried, whose segment consisted almost entirely of screaming that Sagat's innocent of raping and murdering a girl in 1990 (a total fabrication - he's never been accused of anything like that).

It's not until the roasters spread it out in front of you that you realize just how ludicrous Saget's career has really been. Our generation will always know him by his "Full House" alter ego, but it was his scene-stealing cameo in the 2005 documentary The Aristocrats - in which 100 comics riffed on the world's dirtiest joke - that revealed his notoriously filthy sense of humor. He's made bizarre film cameos (Half-Baked, anyone?), directed Norm Macdonald in Dirty Work and somehow found a way to make $100 million doing it. He took the hits like a champ, clearly reveling in the blistering career retrospective and even tearing up during a few of the show's more tender moments. It made for a great roast - can't wait for the next one.

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