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80s Cartoons Unlikely To Become Summer Blockbusters

80s Cartoons Unlikely To Become Summer Blockbusters

The hype machine has to stop somewhere, right?

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By Jeremy Azevedo
Due to the success of Transformers and the overwhelming hype surrounding the upcoming G.I. Joe movie, producers are no doubt snapping up licenses to 80s cartoons at an alarming rate...


But for every Thundercats or He-Man, there’s another franchise that has absolutely no business ever being made into a movie. Here’s a look at the bottom 5:

Bravestarr:



Yes, he does ride that horse, and yes, it is awkward.

Bravestarr essentially combines science fiction, westerns, racial stereotypes and Satanism into one tidy package. The plot revolves around a planet known as “New Texas” (naturally) upon which some valuable mineral known as “Kerium” is being mined by meek “prarie people” who seem to receive no visible benefit for their slave labor. Despite this fact, an alcoholic Native American sheriff known as Marshall Bravestarr is called into action to combat an evil menace (the antichrist, furries, prarie people who want a piece of the action, gay robots) over the fate of New Texas and it’s precious resources, armed with his shamanistic spirit animal powers and a sweet cowboy hat. This show also features a talking horse that stands on two legs and can shoot a rifle, which sort of defeats the purpose of being a horse in the first place. Additionally, this also makes everyone feel weird about it when Bravestarr rides on his back.

Likelihood of being adapted into a film: 1/1,000

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