According to the Weekly World News (the most reputable news source in the known universe) a half Dolphin half Dinosaur was spotted attacking a fishing trawler off the coast of Seattle, Washington. That’s right folks, the sea itself is birthing mighty beasts that must be here to remind us that dumping in mother earths waters just won’t be tolerated! So the next time you’re out in ocean swimming and your thinking that no one will mind you relieving yourself in the water, think again! All you surfers had better hold it until you can find a bush on dry land.
Here is an artist conception of an artist’s conception of what Dolphera might look like if you were really good with photoshop. Beware!
The most terrifying aspect of Weekly Worlds News’ report was that Dolphera actually spat acid out of its blow hole that melted the very skin off the bones of the hapless sailors he, she or it attacked. In order to keep the local populace from breaking down into abject terror, the US coast guard chalked the incident up a ‘rogue’ iceberg. Probably a well thought out Public Relations move considering the panic that would be inspired by a giant Dinosaur-Dolphin hybrid ravaging fishing boats off of the coast.
This writer feels that it might be best for people to stay indoors until the all clear to begin looting is sound.
