The Fox Whole

It’s Super Bowl week! Can you feel it? Would more exclamation points help? It’s Super Bowl week!!!!! Ok, I admit it, I’m trying to psych myself up for this week. I really am. It shouldn’t be this hard; after all, this is our country’s premier sporting event. I suppose my big problem with the game is this- The Chicago Bears hate America.

70% of America was rooting for the New Orleans Saints to beat the Bears in the NFC Championship game. And why wouldn’t you root for the Saints? The story had everything you could want in it[1]. A city broken and devastated by Hurricane Katrina had found something to believe in again. People who had lost everything and had survived one of the greatest tragedies to hit this country were able to smile again. They were able to find joy in their lives. Apparently, this angered the Chicago Bears and they quickly became frustrated.

The Chicago Bears saw something beautiful and immediately decided to squash it. Some fans even made a sign boasting that the Bears were going to “finish what Katrina started.” If the game had been played in New Orleans, I have no doubt that the Bears would’ve celebrated the victory by smashing the new levies and by flipping over FEMA trailers. What I don’t understand is why the team saw a trip to the Super Bowl as more important than healing America. As noted political commentator Stephen Colbert said, if the Saints had won the Super Bowl it would’ve been like Katrina never happened.

Haven’t the Bears seen the suffering that New Orleans has gone through? The city can’t catch a break. This point was fully driven home to me when I was watching the preview of the Saints-Bears game, when a commentator said he expected the weather to put New Orleans at a disadvantage. Honestly, hasn’t Mother Nature done enough to New Orleans? Apparently, crushing the souls of Saints fans is just as important as crushing their homes. Yet, the Bears could’ve fixed this. All they had to do is lose the game.

Losing isn’t something uncommon for Chicago teams. The Blackhawks haven’t won a Stanley Cup since the rules changes in hockey, the Bulls haven’t won a championship this millennium, and they are even cursed in baseball as the Cubs have the longest World Series drought in baseball. Chicago even has experience in losing on purpose, as evidenced by the infamous Black Sox team in 1919[2]. So, in conclusion, Chicago excels at losing and will even lose on purpose for money, but never to help America.

If the Chicago Bears really wanted to be remembered as heroes, they would’ve helped out the city of New Orleans at a period when most other people have become bored and moved onto other tragedies (like the rapid free fall of Britney Spears, can you believe what’s happened to her? It’s awful, she looks like some sort of fluffy, protective casing that you would hide the real Britney in. Oh, right, the Saints). What do the Chicago Bears have to gain by winning the Super Bowl? That’s nothing special, we have a new one every year.

The Bears could have shown the country, neigh, the world, how sports can have a positive effect in the world by losing to the feel good story of the month. Instead, they showed the world just how much they hate America[3]. If the Bears were a professional wrestler, they would be three seconds away from getting their asses kicked by Hulk Hogan.

At least the average fan has one thing to look forward to in the Super Bowl- The Indianapolis Colts finishing off the Bears with a big leg drop. Then, and only then, will all be right in America.
 

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