Child actors. I have a theory about them. If they manage to reach adulthood, they’re always shorter than their civilian counterparts. My theory revolves around the early mornings on set. These kids get exposed to and come to rely on coffee regularly and that stunts their growth. I know my theory is simplistic and I don’t have any empirical evidence behind me, but I stand by it. I’ve just met far too many child actors who’ve never made it past 5’9” and child actresses who never made it past 5’3”.
Aside from their vertical issues, lasting success and well-adjustment truly is a roll of the dice. Some of them turn out okay. Others swipe necklaces from hole-in-the-wall boutiques. It’s a lot of stress for an individual to handle at a particularly young age, and often when it comes to stress, some excel, others shatter.
Here’s a look at five child actors that are in career-purgatory.
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Macaulay Culkin.
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His name, his tow-head and sensitive-to-after-shave skin ruled the nineties. His parents were questionable and he made millions before the age of 14. Then came lots of drinking, partying, an early marriage to Rachel Minor, the Mila Kunis thing, and the Euro porn star. Honestly, I know he may or may not have sworn off acting, but I have seen him in smaller projects. This one kid that I would like to see make a comeback; I truly believe he has the chops.
