It’s time again. The holidays are now upon us. Let the destructive force of family anarchy begin. We here at Crave Online have dispatched our crack journalism team and come with some major holiday faux pas.
Take a look!
1. Giving the gift of smallpox.
A traditional gift since the first Thanksgiving, this wondrous little viral delight has since lost it luster as the "go-to" of gifts. However, it's told it does wonders for the skin.
2. Accidentally giving your Uncle, who’s been sober 15 years, a shot of whiskey.
You know how you over hear your parents say, "He's been doing so well, lately." Well, this Thanksgiving you can throw that out the window once your alcoholic Uncle gets a little taste. Remember if this happens, to lock your sister in her room.
3. Criticizing Aunt Mabel’s Stuffing.
We all have one -- "The Bat-shit Crazy Aunt." You should know as well as anyone that any criticism towards her or her cooking will result in a very uncomfortable episode.
4. Farting while saying “grace.”
Nothing says Thanksgiving like doing a little crop dusting before a meal.
5. Flirting with your hot cousin.
We know you only see her once a year or so, but remember -- she is a blood relative. And taking care of yourself is hard enough without a two-headed baby running around.
6. Leaving an “upper decker” in your Grandma’s bathroom.
There really isn't reasons you shouldn't do this. But there is no real reason you should do this.
7. Mentioning Obama in front of your racist Granddad.
Have a Grandpa that has confederate sympathies and still thinks Governor Wallace "had it right?" It's probably not a good idea to bring up the current administration. Although, genetically speaking, Obama is just as much white as black... people tend to forget that.
Happy Thanksgiving from CRAVE Online Processed Meats & Weapons Manufacturing INC.
