Many people don’t know that The Machine Man had a minor film career before his comic book stardom. Created for Stanley Kubrick Aaron Stack was designed as a pleasure bot for Gary Lockwood’s personal use, but proved to be so creepy and weird that they found a place for him in the movie. However none of his scenes actually made the final cut and Aaron’s acting career didn’t quite take off like he wanted.
The Hulk and life in San Fernando Valley
When the 70’s closed Aaron found himself traveling across country heading towards the west coast, where writers typically live yet never seem to write about in the Marvel Universe, with one exception, The Incredible Hulk. The Hulk just happened to be running amok when poor Machine Man happened on the scene.
Sure he put up a fight, but in the end the winner wasn’t in doubt. The Hulk squatting over and defecating on young Aaron was probably a little uncalled for but are ya gonna do, Hulk’s a f**kin’ monster.
Aaron was junked and tossed on a train that’s load found it’s way to a junkyard in sunny San Fernando Valley, yes that valley. Aaron was found and reactivated by a props man working in the adult film industry. Now you know how Aaron spent the 80’s. Every time you’re watching an adult film and the mic thingy suddenly comes into the shot? Yep! That’s Machine Man. Any robot, and or mechanical device used between 1982 and 1989 is probably Machine Man.
Robo-Jesus
In the 90’s Aaron found religion. After stapling a cross to his head Aaron went forth and found a flock. It was around this time that he developed an addiction to fuel injector cleaner. After about three years his flock was used to feed his growing habit. His flock consisted of other b-list robot characters like Deathlok and Death’s Head (I think he’s a robot, let’s just say he is) plus Johnny 5 and all those little robots from Batteries Not Included, they all followed the message of Robo-Jesus.
1999: A new purpose, killing Mutants!
Robo-Jesus was cool and all but once Marvel called most of the robot characters went back to work. Deathlok got a great job being dead in a tube for three straight issue of The Avengers! Death’s Head got a job looking menacing in a space book where none of the readers even get the fact that their supposed to know who he is. But Aaron, Aaron had to spend six months on a reality rehab show getting over his fuel injector addiction, he was kicked off the show early after he transformed into a dildo monster and attacked one of the female stars, a former adult film actress getting over an addiction to butter.
The X-Men would be desperate for a change of pace and decided to bring all of their ‘X’ characters back into the fold. Aaron had an ‘X’ in his name after all, so they invited him too. One of the editors at Marvel saw this and after a swig of beer said “f**k it.” And Aaron was in. Unfortunately, the writers often pay better attention than the editors and Aarons time with the X people came with a price. Aaron was to kill every mutant he saw, for you see the powers that be thought there were too many mutants and would spend the next decade killing them off in various ways, Aaron being only one of them.
Poor Aaron, how he would whine and cry while frying and burning mutants, it was as pathetic as it sounds. Aaron tried to turn to the Avengers for help but he didn’t know that they had two muties oops I mean mutants working for them. Justice and Firestar had Aaron booted right out of the Avengers for racism, and Aaron couldn’t argue, he simply said, “Good luck the next time Ultron show’s up, jerks!” Upon leaving the Avengers compound Aaron was immediately kidnapped by the monolith. He was lucky, because just three years later a guy named Brian Michael Bendis would show up and begin killing Avengers at random.
A new millennium brings invisible clothes
The Monolith drops Aaron off in the future. Of course, because it’s comics the future is as messed up as humanly possible. The Watcher had gone blind, and unlike other stories where blind people persevere and learn to adapt, the Watcher fell over everything. Aaron having been turned see through had no problem tripping the Watcher whenever he sees the opportunity.
On Earth things are really messed up, most people are dead, whoever is alive seems oddly comfortable with the impending doom barreling upon them. Cap is older and defeated and Spider-Man is fat. Exactly, the earth is screwed. Aaron watches all this crap take place.
Finally Aaron gets the idea to go through the Watchers stuff, and therefore finding the solution to all the Earths problems and the chance to get home.
He uses it.
Right Now, not just a song by Van Halen.
Aaron Stack has been through quite a bit for a b-list character. Currently he’s developed a new vice: beer. The more troubling issue is his sudden affinity for breasts despite having no real genitalia to speak off, most troubling given his checkered past.
