Fear not, this isn’t a rant that lists off a bunch of movies you’ve already seen and then tells you they sucked (well, maybe it is a little). This post will attempt to appeal to comic book fan in you that likes comics first, movies second. The kind of fan that doesn’t think the two are somehow interrelated like twins separated at birth. I plan to argue that comic books and movies are two different animals.
As some would put it, the comic book movie buzz isn’t really a new phenomenon, it’s only that special effects and big budgets have just recently made these movies possible. With the exception of the original Superman franchise, most comic book related movies and shows were god awful to put it mildly. Now we have the special effects capabilities to pull off a Spider-Man or Blade on a visual level. Unfortunately that does not mean that you can make these movies well.
Special effects aren’t the only aspect of proper filmmaking, they’re like fake boobs: nice to look at but ultimately unnecessary. For all the great special effects in the X-Men and Spider-Man movies the dialogue and plot often times made me cringe. The dialogue is the number one reason comic book movies are difficult to make. The dialogue in comics is written in a way that doesn’t translate well on the big screen.
This is where comic book fanboys ‘pull a Plaxico’, by demanding that their comic book movies be completely faithful to the source material. This is foolish and the end results are movies like Fantastic Four. If you’ve read a bunch of issues of Spider-Man over the course of your life, do you really need to see it rehashed in front of you with live actors? Not really. With years of continuity to consider, how can you be so demanding?
Fitting thirty years worth of storytelling into one movie is most likely impossible, especially when the characters history is intertwined with other characters that the studio may not have the rights to use in the film. That’s why I’m so forgiving of films like X-Men and Spider-Man, and so hard on films like Punisher. The X-Men are an ensemble cast that has had as many changes as any other comic book series has been around for a few decades; it’s hard to imagine how they would go about introducing all of the characters and villains for that matter. The Punisher on the other hand is one of the easiest, most simple comic book story out there, a guy loses his family and seeks revenge on criminals with a gun (or ten). It’s basically a variation on the classic Death Wish story, and those were successful enough to make three sequels.
The fact that they can’t get Punisher right is proof that even the most basic of comic book stories is more complex that a movie script may allow for. It’s time for us to admit to ourselves as fans that all comic books aren’t simply movie scripts waiting to happen. They are not thirty five page storyboards just waiting for Mark Steven Johnson or Zack Snyder to direct. Comic books are their own unique form of entertainment and they should be treated as such.
How come there aren’t more movies like My Super Ex Girlfriend, not the greatest movie ever but a novel idea to be certain. The success of shows like Heroes tells us that you don’t need a direct adaptation to make a super hero movie. You just need a story with super heroes in it. What I’m saying is Marvel would be better served building movies with brand new characters from scratch, instead of dragging their old baggage laden characters on to the big screen. Imagine a brand new movie, featuring a brand new hero brought to you by the guys who make Spider-Man. All new heroes without decades of history or continuity; those are the movies that I want to see.
The market is already getting bloated with a ridiculous number of comic book related movies (there were over 75 comic movies were in development the last time I checked) as it is. When you consider the odds of these movies being good, the past doesn’t support a happy future. For every Spider-Man 2 there is a Spider-Man 3. You would figure that after such an abysmal performance that Marvel might hit the brakes, but it’s too late now they are already committed. But what happens if the second Iron Man movie sucks?
Big money can equal big losses. Who knows how much money Marvel is going to lose with Punisher and is it a sign post for the future? In the end my biggest question is what does Marvel gain from all of this. Is it readership? Or is it just more money? Either way, making a string of crappy movies doesn’t help with either of these things. What is the barometer for their success? How many Daredevil’s will hit the theaters before somebody says enough is enough?
DC has a bit of a better track record but not much better. The Dark Knight was good (overrated, but good) and all but it still doesn’t erase the memory of George Clooney in the costume. Box office blunders are worse than comics that don’t sell based strictly on the cost of producing one versus the other. I just don’t know how many blunders Marvel Studios can whether between making good movies.
In the end I think Marvel and company are being too aggressive with their movie’s and it’s going to come back to bight them on the arse very soon, when (oh when) will this movie making madness end? To be fair I’m not completely against making all comic book movies, I just think that the studios should five times more selective in their decision making, is that too much to ask?
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