I’m still baffled as to why Grant Morrison continues to get work. From Batman RIP to Final Crisis to The Return of Bruce Wayne the man can’t seem to hold a story together. Batman #700 has the same problem that Batman RIP had, a weak third act. The end of this issue just ends, literally it just stops, which is okay because the last three or four pages are dribble anyhow.
Batman #700 is split into four sections giving us three Batmen, Bruce Wayne for “Yesterday”, Dick Grayson for “Today” and in what could have been an inspired idea, Damien Wayne for “Tomorrow”, the fourth part also called “Tomorrow” features nobody as Batman for reasons Morrison doesn’t bother to explain. Plot wise the sections in Batman #700 are linked by a chase for the Joker’s “Joke Book”, a diary that is a looking glass into the maniac’s mind.
What’s going on within these sections isn’t really the problem, it’s more the lack of structure. I can only assume that Morrison holds great reverence to those who penned Batman in the past because the “Yesterday” section featuring Bruce Wayne is excellent. Morrison hits all the right notes with tone, plot and dialogue. When the issue moves into “Today” with Dick Grayson as Batman the cracks begin to show, though not horribly. Here Morrison stumbles over Dick Grayson’s dialogue but the story itself still holds water.
The problems really come to pass with the first “Tomorrow” section featuring Damien Wayne as Batman in the future. I realize that Damien is a largely unlikable character but Morrison makes him so unlikeable as Batman I was hard pressed to push through the story. At one point, Damien’s Batman leaves a criminal to be eaten alive by rats. That’s not Batman and this bastardization of the character comes very close to the horror Frank Miller unleashed with All-Star Batman & Robin. When will these two goons realize that writing Batman by rewriting the core of the character doesn’t work?
The “Tomorrow” section is also riddled with Morrison’s love of bad science fiction; everything from 2-Face-2 who actually has a living face growing like a tumor from his cheek to giant Joker looking monsters Batman takes out with a satellite program called “Monster Barbeque”. The second “Tomorrow” section is even worse as it gives these small snippets of what might be other Batmen in the further future. You never know, because suddenly Morrison ends the issue with something that sounds more like the Green Lantern mantra than a Batman book.
The only thing that doesn’t disappoint through out the issue is the art, which is handled by some of the best in the business. Tony Daniel does a superb job kicking off the issue with “Yesterday”. Daniel manages to hold onto his style while paying a nice homage to those artists from back in the day.
Frank Quietly takes over for “Today” and as always his stuff just pops right off the page. Nobody makes Batman look cooler and Quitely's way with action is beyond reproach. The only strange bit is that halfway through “Today” Quietly is replaced by Scott Kolins who does a fine job but his fine art style pales next to Quitely’s more punk rock vision.
Even as bad as the “Tomorrow” section is the art by Andy Kubert is gorgeous to look at, nobody does shadow and faces like Kubert. He also is a master of setting the tone with simple details folded into the greater picture. David Finch does a decent job with the final “Tomorrow” section though I prefer his cover to the art for the story. At the back of the issue is an art gallery featuring Dustin Nguyen, Tim Sale, Bill Sienkiewicz, Philip Tan and more. The art in the issue and the gallery is worth the price of the book regardless of how flawed the story is.
Whatever started out well in the first half of Batman #700 falls apart completely by the end. The story, the dialog, everything becomes so bad it boarders on parody. Does anybody in DC edit Morrison, or is he above all that? This issue is entirely too dedicated to what Morrison wants as opposed to what would make a great story. Due to that, Batman #700 feels more like a celebration of Grant Morrison than the Dark Knight.
