So I read Final Crisis 7 last night. After sleeping on it I have to confirm that it is the biggest epic fail in comic book history. I feel bad for every fan that had to sit through this book just to see what happened to one of the most iconic characters of all time. Talk about your do over’s, if Grant Morrison had any regrets in his life taking this job should be chief among them.

Let’s start off by saying that this was the most nonsensical book ever published. The editorial staff ripped this story apart and put parts of it in books that I’m not sure ever saw print. I never even got a Final Crisis checklist to help me navigate this mess of a story. From the very start it was difficult to figure out what was happening and who it was happening to.

The problem I’m really faced with is the idea of having to fill a review with so much negativity. What killed me was how the rest of the DCU seemed to cruise right along while this earth shattering event was going down. Batman RIP now makes absolutely no sense, The Legion of Three Worlds is useless now, the Superman titles all have no bearing on this bold new world DC created. The list goes on and on.

The biggest loser in all this is Batman, who is now lost in time from what I can tell (an easy fix for the gun shy DC Comics) and that’s such a huge let down. Not that that I wanted batman dead (ok, maybe a little) but I at least wanted his death to mean something.

It’s almost impossible not to sound like a broken record writing this review, there was no epic turn around for this grossly confusing series that never quite came together like it was supposed to. One minute we’re one place, and the next minute we’re somewhere else with no segues, transitions, or anything resembling editorial cohesiveness. I just don’t know what Grant Morrison was trying to accomplish, and the readers shouldn’t have to work so hard to put everything together.

To my recollection Batman barely has an appearance in Final Crisis and just shows up suddenly at the end. Wonder Woman spends the entire series wearing a dog mask and then she’s ok all of a sudden, and Superman is all over the map. The reintroduction of the multiverse wasn’t worth this.

The big question is what DC is going to do now. I’ve never called for anyone’s job before but somebody has to take the blame for this debacle. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Crisis on Infinite Earths was the greatest comic book event in the history of comics, this Final Crisis is an insult to that legacy.

DC and Marvel, and even Image and Dark Horse should pay close attention to this mess so that they know what to do next time. Next time don’t break up a massive story like this just to sell more books. Whoever organized this did a very poor job from the onset. Going back and rewriting the series was obviously a terrible mistake as well.

It takes a lot of gall to call out a guy like Grant Morrison (who is a better writer than I could ever dream of being) but gall is what I have. Shame on you Grant Morrison for allowing this to happen, I know that all the blame doesn’t rest with you and that no one is perfect, but your name is on this stinking pile and like a tattoo of an ex’s name on your ass, you’re stuck with this for life.

The worst movie ever made was a terrible film called Torque. I tell people all the time that the movie is so bad that everyone did a bad job, from the key grips to the drivers, everyone sucked. The same can be said for Final Crisis, everyone named in attachment to this series dropped the ball from the publisher to the type setter this was an epic fail of such proportion that new terminology must be found to properly convey how bad it is.

I wish (and this is true) that I could end this review with ‘on the bright side’ but I can’t. There is no bright side to this. Shame on you DC comics, this series was a deal breaker, and if people stopped reading your books they would be justified.

Crave Online Rating: 0 out of 10