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Review: Batman Incorporated: Leviathan Strikes

This wasn't the way we were hoping to see Stephanie Brown again.

Batman Inc. Leviathan Strikes

Batgirl is in school. She’s in a school with other kids but it’s a private school and the girls are killers. They train to be killers for bad guys or hit men; they have pretty hair and sexy outfits. Batgirl isn’t Batgirl though because she’s Stephanie Brown not Barbara Gordon. This is before the new 52. The school is big, big enough for Batman to be there as a gardener with a full skin suit on. The girls try to hang Stephanie because the girl she is friends with ate a cracker and wants her dead. Now Batman is here and they go to fight the headmistress because the son of Pyg who seemed to run things left and nobody saw him go away.

Bruce Wayne is in a big laboratory with Lucius Fox in front of a giant diamond.  It’s a meta-mineral and can turn other energy into other energy.  Bruce Wayne inspects a bunch of Batman robots and then there’s a sinking aircraft carrier with a skeleton inside of it. Then Batman, Robin, Red Robin and Dick Grayson Batman are in a room with a riddle. If they don’t answer the riddle they die. Don’t worry Batman is in a control room with a breathing apparatus on and watching a tiny old man spout threats and then there’s the countdown to an explosion.

Batwing walks into a room and does something. Back to the control room and then into another room where a guy who works for Batman Inc. gets shot, but he’s not dead don’t worry. Batman is in front of a giant tower with a skull head and he’s really mad. Then back to the big room where Robin, Batman, Dick Grayson Batman and Red Robin are fighting guys and trying to get back into another room. Batman is back in the other control room only it’s destroyed and there’s another skeleton in it.

Santiago is a double agent and now we’re in space with Oracle and a big skeleton looking bad guy. There’s a lot of trippy artwork and then Robin kills a guy trying to kill Batman and the ship hits a beach. Batman finds a severed head and then it all turns out that Talia has been behind everything and it’ll all be worked out in 2012.

If you’re curious why this review seems like the ramblings of a demented child on bad drugs, let me explain. Batman Incorporated: Leviathan Strikes is another pointless, plotless, convoluted mess from the mind of Grant Morrison. I’m sure there’s some grand design in this crap heap that will come to fruition ninety-seven issues from now, or that Morrison’s “genius” derived this idiotic mess from the third panel on the 22nd page of Batman #432 and look how deep Grant goes with his Batman legend and blah, blah blah.

Not only is Leviathan Strikes annoying to read, this feces-on-paper is seven bucks. Seven bucks, so that the most pretentious writer in all of comic books can place his particular stink on another Batman series. I guess completely screwing up Action Comics isn’t enough for Mr. Morrison. I don’t know why DC is doing this; I don’t know why they didn’t do at least one positive thing with the new 52 and erase Batman Inc. from the record books. To be honest, I don’t care. Batman Incorporated: Leviathan Strikes is a terrible book from an over-hyped writer and it’s also a really craptacular way to send out Stephanie Brown in her last Batgirl adventure.

 

CRAVE ONLINE RATING: 0/10