Ranking the Manly Drinks

Put down that raspberry liqueur.

CraveOnlineby CraveOnline
Photo: SrdjanPav(Getty Images)

With all of the talk about smashing and disregarding “gender roles” and whatnot, a man might think that he can order a Vodka cranberry at a bar without any consequences, but one would be mistaken. Strongly. Not only would your guy friends destroy you with jokes, they will probably make memes too, but even the girls would consider you less manly, at least subconsciously. So we made a ranking of manly drinks so you’ll know what beverages are most appropriate for a guy to sip on.

While there must be quite a few unknown, national or regional drinks that are probably justifiably regarded as manly, we focused on drinks that are popular world wide. Ones which the whole global village chugs.

Ranking Manly Drinks

Cognac

Cognac is a type of brandy that originates in specific French wine-growing regions, and since brandy is just a spirit produced by distilling wine, Cognac is one made out of French wines from these regions. But despite coming from such a small, restricted part of a world, cognacs are famous around the globe. Courvoisier and Hennessy are the most popular brands of Cognac, and they have such a grandiose reputation as they are a mixture of pleasant taste, elegance, and certain roughness and strength. Cognac isn’t for boys, only men drink it and therefore it is a manly drink.

Wine

Not a type of drink that is exclusively reserved for manly men, or men in general, but definitely one that can showcase a person’s manliness. You can’t actually compare the manliness of red and white wine, as both are, but in different ways. The part of the manliness of drinking wine is knowing a thing or two about it, like which one goes great with what food and occasion. There’s no need to go all the way deep and learn how to recognize earthy tones or similar, but you should be able to recommend and open a bottle without any hassle.

Vodka

Vodka has its reputation tarnished because it’s a perfect drink for amateur mixing, in a sense that sorority girls¬†pour them in their fruit juices. But a classic Vodka is a clear, rigid, strong, consistent, and fiery drink. It wouldn’t be the national drink of heavily patriarchal Russia if it wasn’t. Also, it’s one of those drinks that is a confidence booster, sometimes too much, but real men will know how to control their Vodka spirit.

Beer

If commercials have taught us anything, it’s that you have to constantly have a beer in your hand to be a man. And also scream while watching sports. We’re not busting this myth by placing the glorious nectar called beer on the second spot of our list, but it has to be done as it is, in a way, man fuel. And it has been for generations. Of course, there is more than one type of beer, and if we would have to choose the manliest one, it would be the dark ale.

Whiskey

There are different types of whiskey, and there’s whisky (Scotch) too, but it’s safe to say that all types of this drink are manlier than others. That’s why even cocktails made out of it like the Whiskey Sour and the Old Fashioned are considered appropriate for burly, bearded, rugged man. There is a lot in the old fashioned glass used for whiskeys, but also in its strength, and the way it goes with cigars. For quite a while, only men were enjoying these two things.

So regardless of it is Bourbon, Scotch, Rye, or Irish, whiskey is definitely the manliest of manly drinks.

Now that you have our blessing, pour yourself a cup of any of these drinks, sit back, and ponder on these manly quotes. You could also ponder on the question “Are we manly because we drink manly drinks, or are manly drinks manly because men like them?”.