Luis Suarez Receives 10 Game Ban for Being a Cannibal

If nobody else is going to punish Suarez, then at least the FA are going to attempt to.

Paul Tamburroby Paul Tamburro

Professional scumbag Luis Suarez has been hit with a 10-game ban today after tucking into defender Ivanovic's arm in Liverpool's 2-2 draw to Chelsea last week.

This ban will now effectively end Suarez's season, and what a dignified way to end it.


Suarez decided to chew on Ivanovic's arm after failing to get around the defender in Chelsea's penalty box, the video footage of which you can view by clicking here. Suarez quickly apologised for the incident on Twitter and denied that he should receive more than the average three-game ban for violent conduct, but the FA clearly think differently. A statement released by them reads: "A three-person independent regulatory commission today upheld the FA's claim that a suspension of three matches was clearly insufficient. The player will serve a further seven first-team matches in addition to the standard three. The suspension begins with immediate effect."

Liverpool managing director Ian Ayre, who following the incident said that Suarez was "everything we want in a striker," (so 'massive prick' is apparently at the top of Liverpool's talent scouts' lists) expressed his "shock" at the decision, saying:"Both the club and player are shocked and disappointed at the severity of today's Independent Regulatory Commission decision. We await the written reasons tomorrow before making any further comment."

Suarez has until Friday to lodge an appeal.

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