‘Candyland’ Movie is Like ‘Lord of the Rings?’

Get ready to scour the Shire... for gumdrops.

William Bibbianiby William Bibbiani

There are certain sentences you never expect to say in your lifetime. "Geez Amber Heard, stop making out with me" is one of them. "The Candyland movie sure is a lot like Lord of the Rings" is another. Unfortunately, only one of those is based on fact. There is a movie based on the board game Candyland on the way, and the writers are committed to making it just like The Lord of the Rings, but in a land made entirely out of candy.

These truly are the end times.

Entertainment Weekly reports that Kung Fu Panda 2 writers Jon Aibel and Glenn Berger have been tapped to write the script for Candyland, and that they're trying not to phone it in. "We envision it as Lord of The Rings, but set in a world of candy," Aibel stated. "We don’t see it as a movie based on a board game, although it has characters from that world and takes the idea of people finding themselves in a world that happens to be made entirely of candy where there are huge battles going on… We are going for real comedy, real action, and real emotions at stake."

Yeah, don't strain yourself. Was there even a plot to Candyland? I seriously don't remember. We were a Scrabble household growing up, and that movie's already been made in Sneakers, with Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, River Phoenix and Ben Kingsley. Best. Boardgame Movie. Ever.

Crave Online will be back to discover just how badass a Candyland movie can be… which is to say not very, in all probability.