NO, REALLY: Roland Emmerich Offered ‘Asteroids: The Movie’

An all-new, all-different kind of 'roid rage is headed to theaters.

William Bibbianiby William Bibbiani

Hey, everybody! Remember Asteroids?! That game in which you played a triangle shooting less geometrically sound popcorn-looking shapes for fun and profit, without the profit? No? Then guess what?! You're in the target audience for Asteroids: The Movie, the movie nobody asked for but Hollywood really wants to shove down your throats anyway. And that's okay, because they've approached Roland Emmerich, the Sultan of 'Splosions to direct it!

WHAT?!

Yes, Asteroids is coming your way courtesy of Universal Pictures and producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura, the producer of Transformers: The Dark Side of the Moon, Doom and Imagine That. The Vulture just nailed an exclusive report that Roland Emmerich has been offered the director's chair of the upcoming videogame adaptation, written by Matt Lopez of The Sorcerer's Apprentice and the Race to Witch Mountain remake. Emmerich, you may recall, is the man who brought you DOOM with such blockbusters as Independence Day, 2012 and the upcoming 'Shakespeare Didn't Write It' historical epic Anonymous.

The Vulture describes the film as a post-apocalyptic space opera in which the last vestige of mankind lives secretly in an asteroid belt, fending off an attack by the alien race which scorched the Earth. We're assuming they'll take their Oscar in advance, if offered.

Crave Online will return with more Asteroids news after we apply this soothing cream.