A while back (2008 to be exact) I started a series called Top Ten Movies I Think Would Make Kick Ass Remakes. Well a few things got in the way since I wrote that first one and by now I think a 10-week series might be just a bit of overkill. However I still like the idea, especially with as much grumbling as I do over Hollywood remakes. My knee jerk reaction to everything being remade is the same as yours “Why remake it”?

Most of the movies being remade (or rebooted or whatever you want to call it) have either stood the test of time or they are so good a remake would kill them. Take Zombie’s Halloween or the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, both of those sucked. I was high atop my soap box when a friend kicked it out from under me by pointing out that Hollywood was going to keep doing remakes, no matter what so rather than bitching about it how about coming up with some movies that could actually make good remakes. Films that seem dated or that weren’t really so good the first time around that a remake would hurt their legacy.

As I pondered the idea I decided not only to list them but give my reason why and even some casting suggestions. Listing ten movies is easy but if I wanted to really throw my two cents in there I figured I should write something with a little more meat to it. Some will balk that I was the guy who wrote “A Year Without Reboots, Remakes, Sequels or Based On’s” and those people would be correct. I look at this as a list for Hollywood to check out after that year, when remakes are back on the table and hopefully everybody has learned a few lessons about content. I know that sounds horribly pretentious, but it’s true, plus I thought this would be a lot of fun to write. So, without further ado, here we go…

10.  KRULL (1983)

Krull tells the story of Prince Colwyn whose home planet of Krull is invaded by The Beast and his mindless humanoid soldiers. The Beast kidnaps Princess Lyssa and takes her back to the Black Fortress. Colwyn and a rag tag group of space misfits must find the five-bladed weapon known as The Glaive in order to defeat The Beast and take back his kingdom.

First and foremost this movie is ripe for a remake because the original one is a perfect example of a solid idea with lousy execution. It also came out during the Star Wars craze (Return Of The Jedi) so as a Sci-fi movie it was pretty much out of luck. The effects weren’t very good but the concepts were there so infused with a little digital magic The Beast might not look like a garbage bag with teeth and the other effects could be watchable. I think the idea of the Glaive is a solid one but man did it look hokey when Colwyn used it. Colwyn’s team of Shapeshifter Ergo, the Cyclops Rell and Torquil and his band of escaped criminals could use not only a costume and effects boost but also some massive recasting (though one of the thugs was Liam Neeson).

If Hollywood kept the brutal nature of the movie but tightened up the story and wrote in dialog that didn’t make you want to laugh until you puked, it could create a great new film, maybe even a franchise. What Hollywood shouldn’t do is try to improve the concept because that works on its own, just take the cheap look and the bad acting away and look out because it’s Krull T-shirts for everybody.

As for casting I’d want as much difference between the new Prince Colwyn and the old one as I could get so I’d cast Cliff Curtis who currently stars in the show Trauma. He has a totally different look and yet still is able to carry himself in a very regal manner; in short you’d buy him as prince. For Princess Lyssa we’d need eye candy that can act so I’m thinking Bryce Dallas Howard  but she’d need to bring back the red hair. For the cowardly Ergo I’d pick Kevin J O’Conner (Dr. Mindbender/GI JOE) because nobody plays charmingly cowardly like that guy. The Cyclops Rell could be totally CGI and if you have Gerard Butler (300) do the voice you have one awesomely powerful character. For Torquil I’d go for an unknown mainly because the character isn’t a main one and also we don’t want it to become to star studded.

09.  ANGEL (1984)

During the 1980s there was a rush of weirdly exploitive films that dealt with sex but in either a comedic way e.g. Joysticks, Private Lessons or with heightened reality such as Angel. The film centers around a girl named Molly Stuart who is a straight "A" student at a posh school by day and a hooker named Angel by night. The kids at school figure out she’s a hooker right about the time a necrophile serial killer targets Angel who witnesses his crime. A good cop as well as her makeshift street freak family protects Angel.

This one is screaming for a remake because the original just lightly dabbles in the fact that Angel’s parents abandoned her as well as why she became a hooker. Looking past the obvious exploitive nature of the movie it has a lot of subtext that happened largely by accident so it’s never explored. Angel’s connection to her lesbian landlord, transvestite friend Mae and Cowboy Kit Carson would make for great cinema as would the entire back story of the parents. If Hollywood took out the cheap thrills of the serial killer and added real tension and fear this remake could become a gritty indie style hit.

Casting wise I think Dakota Fanning could handle both Molly & Angel with equal depth and she’s been trying hard to break out of the kid roles that made her famous. If done well this could be a film that helps with that. Woody Harrelson is a no brainer for Kit Carson and the foul-mouthed lesbian landlord would kick ass if played by Carrie Fisher. As for the transvestite this could be an awesome return for either Meatloaf or Wesley Snipes depending on how the director wanted to go. The tough cop would be a great film leap for Thomas Gibson who exudes tough guy calm on Criminal Minds.