By Jeremy Azevedo

Zombie movies are pretty much beloved by everyone, but foreign films can be somewhat of an acquired taste. Take Dead Snow for instance, a Norwegian zombie film about undead Nazis terrorizing med students in a lonely cabin atop a snowy mountain. How does one review such a thing for the average moviegoer?

Instead of presuming to know what you will or will not find interesting or important about such a film, I have instead opted to develop a quiz that will help you determine whether or not Dead Snow is for you!

1.    Do you watch pretty much any zombie movie, regardless of how implausible the premise? Y/N
2.    Do you find the idea of Nazi zombies compelling in some strange way? Y/N
3.    I’m pretty sure there are no titties in this movie. Still interested? Y/N
4.    Do you speak Norwegian, or at the very least, enjoy looking at Norwegians? Y/N
5.    Did you like Cabin Fever and/or Evil Dead? Y/N
6.    Do you prefer horror movies that startle you over those that merely create suspense? Y/N
7.    There’s no such thing as too much blood, amirite? Y/N
8.    A good horror/comedy/horror-comedy film should run no longer than 90 minutes, no matter what. Agree or disagree? Y/N
9.    You can read right? Because there are subtitles in this movie. Y/N
10.  You often think that there aren’t enough horror films that take place in snowy environments. The blood looks so much more graphic splashed all over that perfect white snow! Agree or disagree? Y/N

For every question that you answered “Yes” (“Y”, for those of you that are retarded), award Dead Snow one point. Did your total add up to a 7 or higher? If so, you’ll probably enjoy Dead Snow and should go see it right away. If not, maybe there’s probably a new Matthew McConaughey romantic comedy out this weekend or something.