By Felix Vasquez Jr.

So, the AFI released yet another list this year. Goody.

As if we didn’t have enough websites by two bit hacks writing top ten lists about something pop culture related (Self-deprecation is fun!), we have to hear from the American Film Institute every time a new classic pops in to their heads.

This year, in an effort to continue exposure to their fine organization and improve on CBS’ ratings, the “American Film Institute” released their top ten greatest films of all time per genre, which means a top ten for every genre, and yes, it was predictable. Of course “2001: A Space Odyssey” and “The Godfather” are wonderful movies, but do we really need to be told that every single year by a celebrity host, with various movie stars coming to tears over Ratzo Rizzo’s death?

Try as I may, this upcoming list didn’t go away because something was brought to my attention that irked me, thanks to my uncle (who gave me the idea for this column), and my mom: the biggest horror geek I know:

Horror wasn’t included in the Genre listing. At all.

And I’m pissed because of that. In spite of my friends’ best efforts to influence me in to seeing this program, I refused to not just on the notion that we’ve seen these movies praised a thousand times, but because horror wasn’t on the roster for the top ten. Perhaps they’ll say it’s because of time restraints or that the time slot is for families, but I can’t believe horror was not recognized as a valid respectable form of artistic expression in the film medium by this purported reputable organization working for the film industry.

The AFI had every chance to show how truly cutting edge they are by the inclusion of our beloved genre, and instead just outright snubbed it. I know I’m not alone in my sheer anger of the repeated disregard the horror genre receives from film lovers for being a “basic corruption on society” and “influencing violent behavior,” and this continuous slip up only proves to show that most, if not all cineastes, are pompous deluded high brows who can’t recognize that scaring people is just as hard as making people cry.

So to the fact that they excluded it, and snubbed horror perpetuating the stereotype that the film community are incapable of taking us seriously, and that horror is a genre unworthy of inclusion with all time greats of cinema history, I spit on you AFI! With the failure to include our great dynasty of storytelling, childhood memories, and creation of great minds, you have once again exemplified how so out of the loop you are with actual movie goers.

Your selection is laughable and your genre ranking is ridiculous. They insist it’s “Genres” but they have a combination of genres (Romantic Comedy! Courtroom Drama), and they cleverly camouflaged the horror topic to look respectable (Mystery—how quaint!); as well they just make stuff up (Sports, Epic). These aren’t genres! They’re sub-genres! They’re plot devices!

I’ve taken hits from many douchebags for my fanaticism with horror before but the AFI’s sheer irritating guidelines slap the face of everyone who ever came in the industry simultaneously. Sure, Hitchcock made pure art. Sure Hitchcock’s movies were pure moving works of beauty and suspense, but what of Dario Argento’s stark pastels and sweeping terror? What of George Romero’s cultural and social relevance that influenced thousands of film makers? What of William Castle’s talent for reminding us that movies are fun first and art second?

No, only Alfred Hitchcock made horror movies. Forgive me, Mystery movies. I love the man as a filmmaker, but let’s get real he’s not the only horror filmmaker out there.

With a list you’re never going to get two people to agree on a single selection, so the AFI should instantly be ignored, but no, the American Film Institute is “respectable” thus should acknowledge all forms of filmmaking regardless of the culture, or decade, regardless of how frowned upon it may be. Sure, “Cannibal Holocaust” is an odd pairing with “City Lights,” but they’re both exceptional works of art that have stood the test of time and continue to be unmatched in storytelling.

So, I ask you:

Why AFI? Why did you feel it necessary to exclude horror and continue with this ridiculous pretense that it’s a smear on an otherwise long legacy? Would the mere lip service of horror have lowered your stocks or caused CBS to picket your Institute? And you, filmmakers? You’re no better. “It’s not a horror movie, it’s more of a thriller.” What is so hard about saying: “It’s a horror movie, it’s a good fucking horror movie”?

Because I’ll tell you, we horror geeks pump ass loads of money in to the industry, some of the best stories of all time have been horrifying, fear is our most primal emotion, and horror fans are some of the most prominent movie fans you’ll find. We’re there whether you prefer to nod to us or not, and we’re people like you who place Godard and Tati right next to fucking Lucio Fulci and Lamberto Bava!

And to think it’s somehow so lowbrow the AFI can’t fit “Dawn of the Dead” next to “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” is laughable. If I can sit through the seventeenth discussion about why Francis Ford Coppola is a mad genius for his insistence on casting Marlon Brandon, then I don’t see why I can’t hear about the brilliance that is Freddy Krueger one more time. Guys, try as you may horror isn’t going away. I spit on you AFI!

So should someone read this and refer to me, what would I choose for the Top 10 AFI Horror films?

Well off the top of my head...

Night of the Living Dead
Dawn of the Dead
The Exorcist
Psycho
Texas Chain Saw Massacre
Halloween
Black Christmas
Carrie
Nosferatu
The Haunting

What about you, fair reader?