#6 Killer Klowns From Outer Space


Looks like the bastard child of Rosie O'Donell and Krusty the Clown.

In this Klassic horror flick, aliens that look like clowns invade a small town and begin feasting on the population. Of course, the town’s dumbshit residents don’t think there’s anything weird about freaky-ass clowns and space-age circus tents inexplicably showing up, which adds to the hilarity. People get melted by napalm pies, eaten by killer popcorn, stuck in balloons, cocooned in cotton candy, and have the blood sucked out of them through crazy straws. This movie may be partly responsible for the existence of the Insane Clown Posse, but if you can find it in your heart to look past that unforgivable crime, you’ve got yourself a genuine horror classic.

B-Movie clichés: Exploding guts, plucky detective, sexy sidekick, nerds, horny teens, space monsters, climactic showdown.

WTF quote: Curtis Mooney: They took your wife away in a balloon? Well you don't need the police, pal, you need a psychiatrist!

#5 Troll 2 (Nilbog)


Nilbog: keeping put of work midget actors in the union since 1983.

Inexplicably there are not actually any trolls in this film. They’re goblins actually. While on vacation in Nilbog (which is goblin spelled backward, actually), a family is besieged by goblins disguised as humans that aim to convert the visitors by tricking them into ingesting their tainted Nilbog food. What would possess someone to eat green slime in barely recognizable food shapes, I cannot even begin to guess, but they do. It’s up to some nosy kid and his dead grandpa’s ghost to thwart their evil plans and save the day. This movie is bat-shit crazy all the way. In one of the best scenes, a chick comes out of this dude’s TV and tries to seduce him into eating Nilbog corn. When he refuses, she comes into his trailer and turns the corn into popcorn by eating it sexily and effectively drowning his ass in it. And then there’s the scene in which a group of adults are holding a little boy down and trying to force him to eat a green hamburger, and absolutely no one thinks that it’s weird.

B-Movie clichés: Paranoid kid, pod people, midgets, wise old dude, exploding guts, horny teens.

WTF quote: Joshua: Grandpa! Are you really in Hell?
Seth: No! But I know a trick that a friend of mine who went there taught me!