By Nathan Jordan

Okay, so it’s summer already, and you still don’t have that beach body you want. Well it’s never too late. Losing weight and getting toned starts with a healthy lifestyle. Here’s some tips from CraveOnline to help you be the best “you” you can be!

1. First of all, turn off that television. Okay, now turn it back on. Okay, turn it off again. How’s your thumb feel? Great, you’ve worked out. Now reward yourself with a beer and some nachos.
 

For a good workout, nothing burns calories like floating.
 
2. Instead of cola, drink water. And substitute all food with a low-calorie toothpaste.
 
3. The bench press is a great workout for the pecs and delts . Unfortunately, just like your Porsche, being able to bench press any considerable weight is still no compensation  for your incredibly small penis.
 
4. The best way to avoid exercise burnout is to make your workouts fun. For example, substitute a session on the treadmill with a tugjob from your favorite transvestite.
 

It takes weeks to achieve these results.
 
5. Just keep telling yourself that lawn darts is an aerobic activity.