By Nathan Jordan

Editor's note: It doesn't matter how good a movie is, how great the reviews, how positive the word of mouth... If it has a stupid title, chances are that we'd rather eat a handful of broken glass than go see it in the theater. We didn't ask contirbuting editor Nathan Jordan what his five least favorite all-time movie titles were, but he told us anyway. And now we're telling you:

THE CONSTANT GARDNER
 

Look out! A weed! Noooooooo!!!!!
 
It sounds like a failed HGTV pilot or someone’s ironic punishment in hell... Even if gardening would somehow make an enthralling story, how long before someone screams “Stop gardening, for Christ’s sake!”? Supposedly this is a good movie, but I’ll never know because each time I try to watch it, I fall asleep as soon as the title appears on the opening credits.
 
ROCKY BALBOA
 

“So see, Adrian, it’s a shameless attempt to resurrect my career. Wait, you’re not Adrian, are you?”
 
Leave it to Sylvester Stallone to start the confusing trend of naming sequels after the original movie. He continued this shit with Rambo. Dude has a screenwriting Oscar and he can’t come up with sequel names? So, thanks to him, we now have Fast & Furious. There’s a brilliant idea, just get rid of the conjunctions. Did they let Michelle Rodriguez name the movie or something?