OMG we love having our picture taken so fucking much! Wheee!

Question 2: A song by some band no one has ever heard of comes on the radio. Do you:

A.) Give it a listen and decide for yourself whether or not you like it.
B.) Look it up on Pitchfork to see if you are allowed to like it or not.
C.) Turn to your friend and exclaim: “I was really into this band before they got big. They’re so played out now.”
D.) Trick question: You haven’t listened to the radio in years since you got your iPod.

Fact: Your music tastes as a hipster are like an arms race to always be into a band before they become popular so that you can act “over it” when they do. The only exceptions to this rule are Radiohead, Arcade Fire and possibly the Beatles. Award yourself zero hipster points for choosing A, one for B, two for C, and three for D.

Question 3: Complete the following sentence: I am thinking of joining a co-ed _______ team this summer.

A.) Wrestling
B.) Softball
C.) Kickball
D.) Badminton (kickball is so last year)

Fact: Hipsters love playing team sports ironically. It gives them an excuse to drink Pabst Blue Ribbons during the day. If you chose A, you are probably a manbot, not a hipster. Award yourself one hipster point for choosing B, two for C, and three for D.


Dov Charney, hipster Jesus and founder of American Apparel.

Question 4: Who do you think would make the best President?

A.) John McCain
B.) Barack Obama
C.) Steve Jobs
D.) Dov Charney

Fact: If there are three things hipsters cannot live without, it’s Obama, Apple products, and American Apparel, in that order. If you chose John McCain, you are definitely not a hipster in any way, shape or form, as it would go against party lines. Award yourself one hipster point for choosing B, two for C, and three for D.

Question 5: After the party, I am going:

A.) To bed. I have shit to do tomorrow.
B.) To IHOP, where I will ironically eat food that would make a billy goat puke and generally make an ass of myself.
C.) To the after party of course.
D.) To a late night café with Wi-Fi so I can be the first to upload my pictures and blog about it.
 
Fact: The more committed you are to being a hipster, the more being “scene” will outweigh “having gainful employment”. (Special circumstances exist in which advanced hipsters are employed in the creative class as designers, record company talent agents, web journalists and marketers. This does not in any way change the order of priority for the above question.) Award yourself zero hipster points for choosing A, one for B, two for C, and three for D.

Tally up your points!