By Harmon Leon

Due to the current job market crisis there’re few jobs available. And those few jobs that are available are being swarmed upon like flies on, well, job shit. (I’m speaking to you, Craigslist job postings.) Why not take revenge by lying on your resume? Big lies!

Here’re a few classic lies I—(your trusty blogger) have put on my resume in the past:

RESUME #1: THE “FLAKY-GUY” RESUME

RESUME LIES: All jobs last no longer than two months. One job begins and ends in the same month. Have your education background list 6 different colleges in three years. Also include a mysterious five year gap in between one job position.

RESUME #2: THE HINTING AT A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN RESUME.

RESUME LIES: Have an education background that says you graduated with a 4.0 GPA from Cambridge University in England with a degree in Quantitative Physics. List your first job ias a computer software salesman for a fictional high-tech company in Silicon Valley. Have your work experience digress to selling used cars, with a five year gap between your current job, which is working at Kentucky Fried Chicken.  At KFC be responsible for “chicken sales.”