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Jimmy Balducci's Scene of the Crime: Monkey Bloodsport
Jimmy Balducci
Shocking, real life crime tale!
by Dave Schilling
Sep 21, 2009

Two men, on the edge of madness…only one can survive.  The other…doomed to a 5 hour hospital visit and an indignity that can hardly be spoken of.

Hello, I’m Jimmy Balducci.  This is SCENE OF THE CRIME!

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Hi again, this is Jimmy Balducci, still.  Cool logo, right?  Just thought I’d toss that in there to spruce things up.  My cousin, Vito, is a graphic designer.  Went to some fancy art college.  NOT ME!  Jimmy Balducci went to something called the School of Hard Knocks.  You know what happened to me at the School of Hard Knocks?  I got the shit kicked out of me, repeatedly.  I also open mouth kissed another man.  That’s how I learned to survive on the streets!

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These tales are true, ripped from the headlines; crime stories told without censorship, as only Jimmy Balducci can tell them. 

This week‘s SCENE OF THE CRIME is a familiar one.  A young man, let’s call him “Jimmy Balducci” meets another young man, let’s call him “My Brother, Silvio.”  They cross paths in a dark alley.  It seems that young Jimmy recently shut off his X-Box whilst playing Halo 3 with Silvio.  Yes, Jimmy was getting fragged all over the place.  Not from a lack of trying, I can tell you that.  No, Jimmy’s palms were sweaty.  His nerves frayed from a chance encounter with a smoking blonde the night previous.  He never stood a chance against his cold-blooded sibling.

Silvio lodged a formal complaint with Microsoft to no avail.   His anger built up.  His threats became more and more ominous.

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 Silvio’s only recourse would be physical violence.  Clinched fist would be his weapons. 

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