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More Jerkoffs You Are Sure to Meet in Art School
More Jerkoffs You Are Sure to Meet in Art School
The spawning pool of the nation's hipster population!
by Craveonline
May 13, 2008

The Hax0r


This is what hax0rz look like in the future.

Real hackers don’t go to school. They sit in front of their computer all day and all night, jacking it to CP on 4chan and never, ever appearing in public places. The Hax0r is a poser hacker that looks the part, but doesn’t have the skills to make an ATM withdraw, let alone orchestrate a DDOS attack on a major corporate-run server. The Hax0r is easily distinguished by their frail and pasty appearance, unkept, greasy hair, bad teeth and early 90s goth/industrial wear. The Hax0r wears fingerless gloves in the winter. The Hax0r wears fingerless gloves in the summer, too. The Hax0r pretends to hate the “Xtreme!” marketing campaigns of Mountain Dew and Red Bull. Ironically, The Hax0r’s entire diet consists of Mountain Dew and Red Bull.

The Motherf**ker Who Already Knows How To Do Everything But Is There To Make Everyone Else Look Like An Idiot When They’re Trying To Learn Something


Oh hi guys! Are you here to see my eleventy-billionth art show of the season?

This motherf**ker already knows how to do everything, but comes to art school anyway to show off and make everyone else look like an idiot when they're trying to learn something (hence the name). But don’t get too upset… The real reason that this person is even in school is because they can’t make it in the real world. Why, you ask? Because they’re such a dick!

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