The Musician


Wanna hear me do a 30 minute Dragon Force solo? Unplugged?

No rock star that I know of ever went to college. Despite this fact, lots of talentless hacks flock to art school each year to learn how to express their annoying personal problems musically in coffee shops across America. The Musician would probably be able to get pussy by playing guitar badly for sorority girls at a real college, but that shit doesn’t fly at art school. Pray to J that this loser doesn’t end up as your roommate, unless you like seeing someone air guitaring (on a real guitar!) to Pink Floyd every time you have a girl over and they’ve got a couple of Zimas in ‘em.

The Hype Machine


Remember that guy that had ears surgically implanted on his body? Yeah me neither.

This guy did an honest to goodness, really and truly brilliant art piece… four years ago. The Hype Machine peaks early, and hangs around to bask in their own glory for as long as humanly possible. In the end, the Hype Machine is never able to re-create their former success, and will eventually evolve into “That One Guy That Killed Himself Last Year” that everybody sorta remembers but isn’t quite sure why.