The Fashionista


The only girls in art school that shave their armpits and generally avoid facial piercings.

The fashionista is an insufferable cunt that thinks that because she can afford to buy expensive clothes with daddy’s credit card, that she is also qualified to design clothes for other overpriveleged ninnies to spend other people’s money on. The funniest thing about this is that most of the really successful designers are gay Italian dudes, so they’re all pretty much wasting their time. That having been said, The Fashionista will be your best friend in art school, because they are the only girls who actually give a crap about their appearance, and somebody has to smack that ass, so it may as well be you. There certainly aren’t any other straight dudes in the fashion department to worry about, that’s for sure.

The “Street” Artist


Pictured: The "Federline" of the art world. Yee-ahh, boyee!

Lets just make one thing perfectly clear: there is absolutely nothing “street” about paying twenty thousand dollars a semester to go to f**king art school. Not one thing. And yet there are always these people going around telling everyone that they’re from “the hood”, “keeping it real”, etc. They probably do graffiti or make films in the style of Spike Lee. They all think “Kids” was “like, the best movie of our generation”. Even if they’re not from the generation depicted in “Kids”. The “Street” Artist is always at least 90% white. When forced to comment on the work of this misguided cultural adopter, repeat the following phrase and then try and walk away as quickly as possible without bursting with laughter: “Yeah dawg, that’s hella tight. I feel that”.

Read Part 1 of Jerkoffs You Are Sure to meet in Art School