Tell her that she’s so beautiful that you never want to look at another girl. Then gouge your eyeballs out with a knife.
 
Write a note telling her how much your suicide is not her fault.
 

 
Get some paper, scissors, and markers and make a book of about 20 “love” coupons. For example, make one that gives her $5 off at the car wash down the street. By the time she finds out it’s fake, you’ll probably be long gone anyway.
 
Before going to a party, give each other a secret signal that no one else will understand. For example, when at the party lightly stroking your nipples means that you want a hand job in the bathroom.
 
In the middle of dinner suddenly tell her five reasons why you love her. If you can only come up with four, the fifth one should always be, “Because I hardly even notice your lazy eye anymore.”
 
Buy a tree and plant it with her in the front yard. Tell her that the tree will always represent your love. That night, sneak out and plant some other trees. She’ll never know.
 

 
Nothing says romance like a bottle of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill and a Glade Fresh Mountain Morning scented candle.