I’ve received random text messages before, but there was something about “Tara.” And, for the record, I’m using quotes just because I was getting random text messages from someone who I don’t know and claimed to be a girl. It has to be either a creepy old guy or a retired cop who got tired of waiting around in chat rooms posing as a 14-year-old girl to catch child predators and decided to go on the attack. Either way, this is all inconsequential, because something “Tara” said piqued my interest.

The conversation centered on her getting her blood donor card. I kept asking why she did it, why she donates blood, etc. and she persisted that it was because she wanted to help people and that it made her feel good. Upon reading that, my first inclination was probably the same as yours.

This random “girl” was donating blood for purely selfish reasons, no? So she could “feel good”? That’s what drug addicts say after shooting up. What’s so noble about doing something you love? It’s a hobby at that point. Nobody is throwing out back-pats to the nerdy kid who plays “World of Warcraft” for eight hours, so why is this girl special?

Naturally, she didn’t appreciate my line of reasoning, but it’s pretty spot on. Most importantly, who is to say her hobby helps the world more than other hobbies? For all she knows, she could be donating blood to save the life of a child rapist. The hospital can’t pick and choose who it saves, so her blood could end up in the wrong veins. Who is to blame then, if the child rapist saved by random girl’s blood goes on to rape again?

I once considered giving blood. Then I thought about a little girl in some uniquely unremarkable Midwestern state who loves her parents, tries her hardest in school, and only lies to keep the cool older kids out of trouble. I thought about what probably makes her happy in life (Hannah Montana, Kool-Aid Jammers, MySpace, and having tea parties with farm animals). You know what’s not on her list? So, who’s the real hero now, “Tara”?

Is it you - the person who gave a vile criminal a second chance at life? Or is it me? The one who made sure that bastard got exactly what he deserved. Do you think I like not giving blood? Free cookies are some of the things I love most about America. I don't do it because I have to sleep at night.