By Nathan Jordan

With the new school year right around the corner, college students are preparing for another year of classes, studying, and parties. Being very familiar with college campuses (and their various security details), we here at CraveOnline thought we could dispense some advice to make the upcoming school year the best ever!

And remember, this is college, so whether you’re an urbane senior or a brand-new freshman, there’s always something new to learn!
 
Take your general electives right away, that way you can coast through pottery classes the last two years.
 
Date rape is a big problem at campuses throughout the US. Regular rape is a serious problem as well. So play it smart and stay away from rapists.
 

Can you spot the rape happening in this picture?
 
The college equation for success: For each hour of class, you should study for two hours. For every hour of study, you should drink two beers. For every eight beers you drink, you should vomit once. And every time you vomit, you should take one hour of class.
 
If you attend a community college remember to coordinate your class schedule with your shifts at The Spearmint Rhino.
 

Better not take an early morning classes.
 
Student athletes: don’t forget that first degree murder is still an NCAA violation and can result in a suspension from practice and even games. (Football players exempt.)