Vespinator (Decepticon)

Not necessarily the worst Transformer ever… However, Vespinator has been on Megatron’s shit list ever since he stole all of the Decepticon’s space weed and moved to California without leaving a forwarding address. Some say Vespinator works as a bike messenger in Venice, while still others claim that he plays bass in a shitty band called “Cold Slither” (with a couple of retired Dreadnoks). If you have any concrete information on the whereabouts of Vespinator, please contact Megatron, who is offering a reward of “not shooting you in the f**king face” for your trouble.

Weinertron Prime (Autobot)

Weinertron Prime was recently dismantled by his own squad-mates for making the others feel inadequate and bringing down morale. Said one longtime friend, Wheeljack, “Everyone was always going around wishing they could be him, but it just wasn’t reasonable. Eventually, some of the guys got tired of seeing him strut around, acting all cocky and what have you, and they just sort of gave it to him. That’s right…the big shutdown.”  Weinertron Prime is survived by several hundred Mini-Cons that are too numerous to be named here.