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March Movie Guide

Everything you need to know about this month at the movies!

March Movie Guide

March has some huge things lined up for film releases, with Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland spectacle and star-studded thriller Brooklyn’s Finest leading some very promising films this month. Check out the full lineup of the March Movie Guide below!

Alice In Wonderland

Release Date: March 5, 2010

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Michael Sheen, Helena Bonham Carter

Rating: PG

From Walt Disney Pictures and visionary director Tim Burton comes an epic 3D fantasy adventure "Alice in Wonderland," a magical and imaginative twist on some of the most beloved stories of all time. Johnny Depp stars as the Mad Hatter and Mia Wasikowska as 19-year-old Alice, who returns to the whimsical world she first encountered as a young girl, reuniting with her childhood friends: the White Rabbit, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the Dormouse, the Caterpillar, the Cheshire Cat, and of course, the Mad Hatter. Alice embarks on a fantastical journey to find her true destiny and end the Red Queen’s reign of terror.

CraveOnline’s Call: Early reviews tell of some pretty jaw-dropping stuff, and after everyone decided 3D glasses don’t suck (thanks, Avatar) more people will likely be interested in what this classic story can do with the ever-evolving technology. Consider us there.


Brooklyn’s Finest

 

Release Date: March 5, 2010

Director: Antoine Fugua

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Jesse Williams, Ellen Barkin

Rating: R

In the course of one chaotic week, the lives of three conflicted New York police officers are dramatically transformed by their involvement in a massive drug operation in Brooklyn’s Finest, a searing new crime drama from acclaimed director Antoine Fuqua (Training Day).

CraveOnline’s Call: There hasn’t been this much heavy-hitter power in one film since The Departed, and look how that turned out. This gripping crime drama has a hell of a lot of promise, and you should be looking forward to its release as much as we are.


Green Zone

Release Date: March 12, 2010

Director: Paul Greengrass

Starring: Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear, Amy Ryan

Rating: R

Matt Damon and director Paul Greengrass (The Bourne Supremacy, The Bourne Ultimatum, United 93) re-team for their latest electrifying thriller in Green Zone, a film set in the chaotic early days of the Iraq War when no one could be trusted and every decision could result in unforeseen yet catastrophic consequences.

CraveOnline’s Call: Rather than make a fourth Bourne film, Greengrass & Damon took the modern realist action-hero idea in a new direction – with promising results. Matt Damon’s carved out a nice little niche for himself, and branching away from Bourne at this point to build on the image is a good idea. 

 

Suicide Girls Must Die!

Release Date: March 12, 2010

Director: Sawa Suicide

Starring: Missy Suicide, Sawa Suicide, Amina Suicide, Bully Suicide

Rating: R

When twelve nude models for the infamous SuicideGirls.com begin disappearing from a remote cabin, the calendar video they are shooting becomes the first reality horror movie. Suicide Girls Must Die! is a blend of black humor and unnerving horror – with no actors and no script – it’s all true. Except for the killings of course, but the girls don’t know that! It is a scantily clad hellride that will leave you in stitches.

CraveOnline’s Call: With the overload of free porn available at a click, do we really need to see a bunch of sleazy-looking chicks with tattoo confidence, soaked in cliches & running around in some bullshit pseudo-porn horror flick? Come on. 


She’s Out Of My League

 

Release Date: March 12, 2010

Director: Jim Field Smith

Starring: Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve, TJ Miller, Nate Torrence

Rating: R

Kirk (Jay Baruchel, "Knocked Up," "Tropic Thunder"), an average Joe, can’t believe his luck. Though he’s stuck in a seemingly dead-end job as an airport security agent, against all odds Molly (Alice Eve), a successful and outrageously gorgeous babe falls for him. Kirk is stunned. So are his friends, his family and even his ex-girlfriend. Now he has to figure out how to make the relationship work, even though he’s the first to admit "She’s Out of My League

CraveOnline’s Call: How bout we just wait for next year, when we won’t be able to escape the endless goddamn reruns on Comedy Central? That network has ruined so many movies simply by pounding them into their viewers’ faces for months on end. 


The Runaways

Release Date: March 19, 2010

Director: Floria Sigismondi

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Scout Taylor-Compton

Rating: R

Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning star in this music-fueled story of the ground-breaking, all girl, teenage rock band of the 1970s: The Runaways. The film follows two friends, Joan Jett and Cherie Currie, as they rise from rebellious Southern California kids to rock stars of the now legendary group that paved the way for future generations of girl bands. Joan and Cherie fall under the Svengali-like influence of rock impresario Kim Fowley, played by Michael Shannon, who turns the group into an outrageous success and a family of misfits. With its tough-chick image and raw talent, the band quickly earns a name for itself—and so do its two leads: Joan is the band’s pure rock’ n’ roll heart, while Cherie, with her Bowie-Bardot looks, is the sex kitten. Written and directed by Floria Sigismondi, the film chronicles Joan and Cherie’s tumultuous relationship on and off stage, as the band starts to break out

CraveOnline’s Call: Hate to be a negative nancy, but this looks like a steaming pile of fail any way you look at it. No way in hell does Kristen Stewart possess the sass & spark of chick-rock pioneer Joan Jett; she’s the flavor of the moment with this Twilight business, and was badly miscast. Dakota Fanning is even worse, caught in a mid-pubescent weird phase that distracts from the character. It doesn’t work, we’re not excited, and that’s a shame, because Jett’s story needs proper telling.  

 

Hot Tub Time Machine

 

Release Date: March 26, 2010

Director: Steve Pink

Starring: John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Chevy Chase

Rating: R

"Hot Tub Time Machine" follows a group of best friends who’ve become bored with their adult lives: Adam (John Cusack) has been dumped by his girlfriend; Lou (Rob Corddry) is a party guy who can’t find the party; Nick’s (Craig Robinson) wife controls his every move; and video game-obsessed Jacob (Clark Duke) won’t leave his basement. After a crazy night of drinking in a ski resort hot tub, the men wake up, heads pounding, in the year 1986. This is their chance to kick some past and change their futures – one will find a new love life, one will learn to stand up for himself with the ladies, one will find his mojo, and one will make sure he still exists!

CraveOnline’s Call: Could this be crazily ludicrous enough to actually work? It seems that way, somehow. We’re there just for the sheer batshit originality of it all – not to mention the time traveling, chicks & guaranteed comedy weirdness between Cusack, Corddry & Robinson.  


The Bounty Hunter

Release Date: March 19, 2010

Director: Andy Tennant

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Gerard Butler, Jason Sudeikis

Rating: PG-13

Milo Boyd (Gerard Butler), a down-on-his-luck bounty hunter, gets his dream job when he is assigned to track down his bail-jumping ex-wife, reporter Nicole Hurly (Jennifer Aniston). He thinks all that’s ahead is an easy payday, but when Nicole gives him the slip so she can chase a lead on a murder cover-up, Milo realizes that nothing ever goes simply with him and Nicole. The exes continually one-up each other – until they find themselves on the run for their lives. They thought their promise to love, honor and obey was tough – staying alive is going to be a whole lot tougher. 

CraveOnline’s Call: The obligatory monthly rom-com finds Aniston on the run from a man for a change, instead of desperately clinging to another one of those crappy cookie-cutter formulas her past twenty movies have fallen victim to. This one’s dressed as more of an everyman’s Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and somehow, that might work. 


Leaves of Grass

Release Date: March 26, 2010

Director: Tim Blake Nelson

Starring: Edward Norton, Tim Blake Nelson, Susan Sarandon, Richard Dreyfuss

Rating: R

In Leaves of Grass, Bill Kincaid, a college classics professor (Norton) is lured home from the Ivy League to the backwoods of Southeastern Oklahoma by his identical twin (also Norton), a hedonistic, dope-smoking career criminal. Kincaid finds that Plato and Marcus Aurelius have ill-prepared him for dealing with a gang of homicidal hillbillies, and adapting becomes a matter of survival as he makes sense of the predicament his brother got him into

CraveOnline’s Call: Walt Whitman be damned, this one looks interesting. Ed Norton pulls double duty in fine form, there’s a solid, award-winning cast and a distinct possibility that an offbeat-comedy win could result from the effort.