Welcome back to Crave’s monthly movie guide. February is a big month for theatrical releases, and we’re here to help make sure you’re not wasting your cash when you head to the movies this month. At least when you spend twenty bucks on popcorn and a soda you know what you’re getting, which is rarely the case with the movie you’re there to see.
Under The Sea 3D
Release Date: February 5
Director: Howard Hall
Starring: Jim Carrey
Rating: G
Jim Carrey narrates a unique film experience of up-close encounters with some of the most breathtaking marine life ever captured on film, while examining the impact of global climate change on the ocean wilderness. Award-winning director/cinematographer Howard Hall travels from South Australia to the Indo-Pacific to explore the importance of keeping our oceans clean.
The film aims to reveal the delicacy of our fragile ecosystem, exploring what we risk losing if we fail to address the issue of global climate change before it’s too late.
CraveOnline’s Call: This could be a good one, depending on how deep into the Inconvenient Truth they chose to dig. Points for Carrey’s narration, for sure.
The Pink Panther 2
Release Date: February 6
Director: Harald Zwart
Starring: Steve Martin, Jean Reno, Emily Mortimer, Andy Garcia, John Cleese
Rating: PG
Steve Martin steps back into character as the bumbling Inspector Jacques Clouseau in this entirely unnecessary sequel. John Cleese plays chief inspector Dreyfus in the film. Garcia, Molina and Rai play detectives and experts who join forces with Clouseau to catch a globe-trotting, artifact-jacking thief.
CraveOnline’s Call: Look, I saw the first one. You couldn’t get me into that theater with a cattle-prod and the promise of a happy ending. Hell no.
Coraline
Release Date: February 6
Director: Henry Selick
Starring: Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, Ian McShane, Dawn French
Rating: PG
This hi-def stop-motion animated feature is based on Neil Gaiman’s international best-selling book about a girl who walks through a secret door in her new home only to discover an alternate version of her life taking place. Coraline is the first to be originally filmed in 3D, and boasts spectacular CG effects.
CraveOnline’s Call: Hearing nothing but good things about this one. Check it out. Push
Release Date: February 6
Director: Paul McGuigan
Starring: Dakota Fanning, Djimon Hounsou, Chris Evans, Camilla Belle
Rating: PG-13
A group of young American expatriates with telekinetic, telepathic, and clairvoyant abilities, hiding from a clandestine U.S. government agency called Division. Their only hope is to find a woman who was the only person to ever escape Division, and they must use their different powers and band together for a final showdown with the agency.
CraveOnline’s Call: Obvious "Heroes" comparisons aside, this looks like some pretty good superpowers action.
He’s Just Not That Into You
Release Date: February 6
Director: Ken Kwapis
Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Kevin Connolly, Bradley Cooper, Scarlett Johansson
Rating: PG-13
Based on the best-selling book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, this set of interconnecting story arcs addresses the challenges and pitfalls of reading or misreading human behavior. Jennifer Connelly plays a woman stuck in a boring marriage with Cooper’s character, while Kevin Connolly is a man who longs for the woman Cooper is actually cheating on Connelly with. Add three or four more romantic chain-link extensions, and you’ve got a Six Degrees of Separation of the heart.
CraveOnline’s Call: Been hearing about this one for a while. The trailer doesn’t look that interesting, but as far as romcoms go, it couldn’t be that bad. Fanboys
Release Date: February 6
Director: Kyle Newman
Starring: Sam Huntington, Kristen Bell, Jay Baruchel, Christopher Marquette
Rating: PG-13
Kevin Spacey produced this road-trip tale of a group of friends and maniac Star Wars fans in 1999 who travel West to see the Holy Grail of all sci-fi movies, Star Wars: Episode I. After one of the group falls ill, the only logical solution for the friends is to break into George Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch and watch Jar-Jar’s Big Adventure before its release.
CraveOnline’s Call: A total dork-fest, but one millions of kids can undoubtedly relate to in one way or another. I’d wait for the DVD on this one.
Starring: Kevin Bacon, Justin Bartha, Maggie Q, Orlando Bloom, James Caan, Hayden Christensen, Blake Lively, Julie Christie, Robin Wright Penn
Rating: R
12 filmmakers each take their turn directing a short film (5 minutes) illustrating the universal theme of finding love in the massive clusterfuck that is New York City.
CraveOnline’s Call: With a wide range of names coming into this film, it’s bound to be an uneven collection of stories. Still, an intriguing concept and good Valentine’s date fare.
Interpol Agent Louis Salinger (Clive Owen) and Manhattan Assistant District Attorney Eleanor Whitman (Naomi Watts) are determined to bring one of the world’s most powerful banks to justice in this gripping thriller. After uncovering a vast array of illegal activities, Salinger and Whitman follow the money trail from Berlin to Milan to New York to Istanbul, engaging in a high-stakes chase across the globe as their targets stop at nothing to continue financing terror and war. Directed by Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run) from an original screenplay written by Eric Singer, the film was shot on location in Germany and throughout Europe.
CraveOnline’s Call: The bank is the bad guy! Truly a film for modern times. Terrorism is so 2008 Friday the 13th
Release Date: February 13
Director: Marcus Nispel
Starring: Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Aaron Woo, Amanda Righetti
Rating: R
Yay, more hockey masks and machetes! Good thing nobody cares about originality or the concept of honoring a franchise, because then we’d never have nuggets of pure cinematic gold like this to enjoy. That’s right – Jason returns to Crystal Lake in another remake that nobody needs, and I can’t imagine anybody wanting to see. If you haven’t noticed, mainstream horror flicks have been going through a sort of anti-renaissance; the genre’s in a hell of a downward spiral, and this isn’t going to help matters.
CraveOnline’s Call: Somewhere right this minute, someone you’ve never heard of is writing the script for the 50th Jason movie. This shit will never die. Shark’s been jumped a long time ago, but they just keep on comin’. And you just know a Freddy vs. Jason sequel is out there waiting to happen. Two Lovers
Leonard is a charismatic but troubled man who moves back into his childhood home in the wake of a devastating heartbreak. While recovering, he meets two women with whom he becomes deeply entangled, and must make an impossible decision or risk losing everything.
CraveOnline’s Call: I’m interested, if only to see the launching point for Joaquin’s new direction as a rapping hobo. Is this his last film ever, like he says it is? Absolutely not. He’s like Brando – as fucked in the head as he might be, the art will pull him back. Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail
Release Date: February 20
Director: Tyler Perry
Starring: Tyler Perry, Keisha Knight Pulliam, Derek Luke, Tamela Mann, David Mann
Rating: PG-13
Madea makes yet another return to the big screen, this time raising hell behind bars after a high-speed freeway chase lands her in jail. Joe (Tyler Perry) couldn’t be happier at Madea’s misfortune, but when Madea’s eccentric family members rally behind her, lending their special "country" brand of support, all hell naturally breaks loose.
CraveOnline’s Call: Fourth verse, same as the first. This is what Netflix exists for.
Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li
Release Date: February 27
Director: Andrzej Bartkowiak
Starring: Kristin Kreuk, Michael Clarke Duncan, Neal McDonough, Taboo, Chris Klein, Moon Bloodgood
Rating: PG-13
Capcom’s signature video game gets another film makeover, this time focusing on female fighter Chun Li and her journey for justice. Little else is known about the film’s storyline.
CraveOnline’s Call: Fox better know what they’re doing with this one. The last film had Van Damme, and it sucked mightily. I smell failure.
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