December movie Guide: Week One

Hoping not to follow in the footsteps of its failed predecessors (both previous adaptations, from 1989 and 2004, were unwatchable garbage), Punisher: War Zone isn't a sequel, but a franchise reboot that finds Frank Castle setting his sights on overzealous mob boss Billy Russoti. After Castle makes a piece of disfigurement art out of Russoti, the mobster returns with a new alias: Jigsaw. What's more, he's building an army to take control of New York. As if mafioso revenge weren't a bitter enough dish, the Punisher Task Force is hellbent on tracking Castle down. They sound spooky.

 

Extreme Movie (formerly Parental Guidance Suggested) is comprised of sketches focusing on teen sex. Segments are co-written by SNL players/writers Will Forte, Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone, brought to life with a rather bizarre ensemble cast.

CraveOnline's Call: The film sounds like precisely what it is: a movie originally intended scheduled for straight-to-DVD release, but Michael Cera's star power and a recent SNL popularity resurgence undoubtedly led Dimension Films to repackage Extreme Movie as hit-worthy holiday fare.

The Wrestler

Mickey Rourke steps into the role he was born, bred and beaten to play as Randy "The Ram" Robinson, a professional wrestler who ruled the world in the '80s (cough*Hogan*cough). Ram, having been reduced to the standard aging wrestler fare - New Jersey community center and token high school gym appearances - is barely making ends meet. Taking a hard, sad look at his life and the glory that once was after a heart attack forces him into retirement, he's not immune to the pain of solitude, as his daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) hates his guts and he's unable to sustain any real relationships.