Starring: A shivering little ugly dog/rat thing, Piper Parabo, George Lopez, Jamie Lee Curtis
You've seen all the billboards. Chloe (voiced by Drew Barrymore), a diamond-studded, primpy Beverly Hills Chihuahua loves her luxurious lifestyle so much, she hardly notices that Papi (voiced by George Lopez), a tough looking Chihuahua who happens to ... gah, this is ridiculous. It's a movie about a pampered rat dog that goes on adventures and gets in dangerous but funny scenarios.
CraveOnline's Call: Three helpings of hell no.
Bill Maher travels around the globe interviewing people about God and religion, calling bullshit on capitalist mythology and hacking up every sacred cow in his path in the name of logic and practical sensibility. Known for his razor-sharp analytical skills and even sharper wit, Maher brings his no-hold-barred honesty along on an unusual spiritual journey that challenges every fairy tale you've ever heard.
CraveOnline's Call: This movie is gonna be awesome. Swear to God.
Starring: Michael Cera, Kat Dennings, Rafi Gavron, Aaron Yoo
I know it looks like it, but this is not Juno Part 2. Based on the Rachel Cohn and David Levithan novel, the story revolves around tri-state broken-heart teenagers who fall in love during a marathon search of New York for their favorite band's unannounced show.
CraveOnline's Call: Michael Cera's great, but I've got a bad feeling about this one. Just a hunch.
Starring: Simon Pegg, Kirsten Dunst, Danny Huston, Gillian Anderson.
Sidney Young's (Pegg) alternative pop magazine, Post Modern Review, laughs at media-obsessed stars and takes no prisoners. But when Young is offered a job at conservative New York-based Sharps magazine, he finds himself in way over his head. It's fake-it-to-make-it time as Young moves from mocked outsider to confidante of starlet Sophie Maes. A love affair with colleague Alison Olsen will either make him or break him in this rag mag comedy.
CraveOnline's Call: Oh Simon, I hope you know what you're doing. These kinds of movies seem designed specifically to be an exposure stepping stone for Hollywood funny men - nothing more. With a little luck, How to Lose Friends is a little meatier than its presiding formula.
Starring: Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Ludacris, Jeremy Piven
300's Butler is now One Two, a street-smart mobster who plays both sides of the rail. When a Russian mobster rigs up a massive land deal, millions of dollars are up for grabs, and all of London's criminal underworld wants in on the action. One Two's determined to get his slice.
CraveOnline's Call: The trailer's pretty dazzling - this one could be a winner.
Starring: Bill Murray, Tim Robbins, Saoirse Ronan, Harry Treadaway
For generations, the people of the City of Ember have flourished in an amazing world of glittering lights - underground. But Ember's powerful generator is only meant to least 200 years, and it's failing . The great spotlights that illuminate the city are finally starting to flicker. In a race against time, Ember's inhabitants must search Ember for clues that will unlock the ancient mystery of the city's existence, and escape before the lights go out forever.
CraveOnline's Call: Looks pretty interesting. Bill Murray's always a winner, and the whole doomsday concept still hasn't gotten old. A preemptive thumbs up.
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe, Mark Strong, Oscar Isaac
Russell Crowe is Ed Hoffman, a shady CIA boss who teams with operative Roger Ferris (DiCaprio) to trap a dangerous Al Qaeda leader by planting a false rumor that the bomber is in cahoots with the Americans. A delicate alliance with the head of Jordan's covert operations leads to cultural and moral clashes between the men.
CraveOnline's Call: Been looking forward to this one for a while. Leo always delivers, as does Russell. The combination should sizzle. I heard something about a new GNR song being played in the closing credits. That may up the ante for some.
Starring: James Marsden, Josh Zuckerman, Amanda Crew, Katrina Bowde, Seth Green
Ian Lafferty sets out on a cross country drive with his best friends Lance and Felicia, with the sole purpose of losing his virginity to a sassy lass he met on the Internet. Naturally, the journey does more to make men out of them than any awkward, naked fumbling with a girl could. Or at least that's what they want us to think.
CraveOnline's Call: Why have I been seeing trailers for this for weeks? Way too much advance notice for this kind of movie. You know the drill. Wait a year, watch it on Comedy Central from the stoned comfort of your couch. That way you can slo-mo the inevitable nude scene (which they better effin' have, given the title and plot). Besides, movie tickets are too damned expensive for this crap.
Starring: Robert De Niro, Sean Penn, Bruce Willis, Catherine Keener, John Torturro
A two-week snapshot of the life of a fading Hollywood producer (De Niro) who's having a rough time trying to get his new picture made while going through his second divorce. This comedy/drama also stars Sean Penn and Bruce Willis, playing themselves.
CraveOnline's Call: Looks interesting, but not captivating. There's too much other stuff out there to catch this in theaters. Wait for DVD.
Starring: Josh Brolin, Elizabeth Banks, James Cromwell, Ellen Burnstyn
Oliver Stone's latest project focuses on the life and presidency of George W. Bush. Josh Brolin plays Dubya in this coming-to-power drama. Stone said his goal wasn't to make an anti-Bush statement, but rather outline his rise to the presidency. Which, when spoken as straight truth, can only sound anti-Bush. His life was a completely self-indulgent train-wreck mess well before he pissed all over the White House.
CraveOnline's Call: Look. Our economy's tanking, Washington is more corrupt than ever, we're fighting two massively unpopular, illegal wars and we've got goddamned Looney Tunes characters running for President. Nobody wants to hear anything more about Bush. He's like the retarded, murderous little brother in the hospital that's gonna die soon. Sorry, Ollie. This would've been better in a pre-election 2004.
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Chris O'Donnell, Beau Bridges, Ludacris
Based on the awesome video game from Rockstar Games, Wahlberg plays Payne, a cop on a vengeance streak, investigating a series of mysterious murders. Special effects, bullets, explosions and supernatural shit galore.
CraveOnline's Call: Looks pretty badass. But this could be a one-trick pony.
Starring: Tobin Bell, Julie Benz, Costas Mandylor, Scott Patterson
The fifth installment of the Saw franchise. Hoffman seems to be the last person alive to carry on the Jigsaw legacy, and when his secret is threatened, he goes on the hunt in his own special way: mind-twisting, grotesque torture and sweet, sweet horrifying murder.
CraveOnline's Call: Just in time for Halloween. Why not? These flicks are always good for a scream.
Starring: Edward Norton, Colin Farrell, Noah Emmerich, Samantha Morton
A multi-generational family saga among New York City Police officers. Ray Tierney (Edward Norton), investigates a case and reveals a police corruption scandal involving his own family, but reaches far beyond. Family and moral codes are put on the line in a crisis that threatens to bring down the entire NYPD.
CraveOnline's Call: This seems better fit for a December release, but still looks great. Much of a dick as he is, Colin Farrell's a damn good actor. And Ed Norton mops the floor with him, so that's saying something about the strength of talent leading this one.
Starring: Seth rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Traci Lords, Jason Mewes
Lifelong friends Zack (Rogen) and Miri (Banks) have some serious cash flow problems. The most logical solution? Make a porno! When the cameras get rolling, however, they both begin to sense that they may have more feelings for each other than they previously thought.
CraveOnline's Call: It's a Kevin Smith film. We're going. But cute as Banks is, she doesn't really seem ready to carry a lead role. Guess we'll see.
