By Jeremy Azevedo
|Friday Night Midnight Movies is a new irregularly occurring feature whose purpose is to showcase little-to-no budget films that play at late night theaters in the slums of America and the bombed-out megaplexes of the former Soviet Republic Eastern Bloc.|
Unlike the 300 million dollar nuclear turds that you probably enjoy bitching about on Monday mornings to your little friends, these slightly smaller, much less costly turds can actually be a lot of fun.
This week’s feature film is “Attitude For Destruction”, a movie that combines the origin of everybody’s favorite Sunset Strip cock rock band, Guns N’ Roses, with a Satan worshiping blood soaked titty flashing zombie picture and a $40 budget. The film stars the singer of real life Guns N’ Roses cover band (Hollywood Roses) front man, Colby Veil, as a scorned band mate, murdered in cold blood by his band mates over a record deal.
I have this dream, like, every night. Is that weird?
The “Axl” character (known here as “Drake”) looks a little bit more like Meatloaf than Axl, but you’ll forgive him that trespass when you see and hear him rock some pretty serviceable early GnR tunes, all of which are available on the surprisingly excellent soundtrack. The rest of the “band” provide a great deal of unintentional humor, like when the drummer (pseudo Steven Adler) carries his sticks around with him everywhere he goes, or when the guitarist (pseudo Slash) has a scene in which he is writing tablature, but obviously has no idea how to play the guitar. Actually, the only person that appears to know how to really play an instrument in this film is Jed Rowen, the prolific indie horror actor that plays the band’s dickhead manger, J.J.
See? Even to his grave, he’s got those lousy sticks with him.
Attitude For Destruction is most enjoyable during the gory parts, where blood is gleefully hosed all over the goddamn place and hearts get devoured by topless babes and buff midgets (for no apparent reason, not that there needs to be one). Zombie Drake is great as a Freddy Krueger-esque monster who appears to have had two separate makeup artists over the course of the shoot, his face rocking a Shrek-green moldy look that evolves partway through into more of a bloody Spaghetti-O type fashion. Despite the fact that he as armed with what resembles a plastic sword from a Halloween store with a dildo for a handle, Zombie Drake gleefully drives it into the skulls of his victims with commendable aplomb.
Director Ford Austin has done an admirable job of making an enjoyable film out of a basic premise, a film that pleases horror fans and comedy fans for entirely different reasons. For extra laffs, watch this movie with friends. Take a shot every time someone uses the word “several”. You wouldn’t believe how wasted you’ll be by the third act. Attitude For Destruction will be playing throughout the month of April at the Horrorfest in Denver, CO, and in Los Angles at shitty art-house theaters over the summer. It will also be available wherever DVDs are rented and/or sold.