CraveOnline: How tough was it to leave
Jennifer Garner: Well, I was ready. I mean, you know, five years of something, I think we all felt exactly the way we were supposed to feel at the end of Alias. We were all heartbroken. I mean, you've never seen a closer cast or a group of crew. It really was the best place to work, and we all say that now when we see each other. So there was that loss but at the same time, we really felt like we had told the story. We didn't know what else there was to tell. We felt like we had done it justice so it wasn't like oh gosh, we wish this was going on another year but it was still, I still get emotional about it. J.J. just gave all of us for Christmas this huge leather bound book of pictures starting with the pilot. I can hardly even talk about it. I can't look at it without crying because it's just there are our lives, especially when the crew, he put some of the crew in there. And I miss them; I talk to them a lot.
CraveOnline: Did you keep any wigs or costumes?
Jennifer Garner: No, I just don't care about that stuff, so I don't know where all those wigs are. There are 100s of 1,000s of dollars of wigs that only fit my head that are floating around
CraveOnline: Why did you want to do this story? Did it mean something to you personally?
Jennifer Garner: Well, there are always hooks that kind of draw you in but Susannah Grant's writing is so beautiful. The first time I read it, I knew I had to do it. She asked me to do it. I was beyond excited and something happened where we had to wait a year. I just said, "I can't let anyone else play this role. It's my role. Please wait for me." And she said, "Okay," and they waited for me. But so the writing itself is just so beautiful and speakable and playable and real. It's something you just don't get to do. You either are doing a comedy where you're really pushing for the comedy and finding the funny, or you're doing a drama where everything is really maudlin. This is the balance that kind of follows our own life patterns. It just felt to me like something that was true. And the things that attracted me to the character were things, for example, that she had seen her fiancé as this prince on a white horse and the idea of black and white and that she only saw good in him, even when at some point he tried to say, "Hey, there's something I need to talk to you about," she didn't want to hear it. She wanted to live in her fantasy. And in going through the hardest thing in herself, she grew up and she was able to learn about the gray, which p.s., it's her name, so I'll give you a little hint.
CraveOnline: Isn't this also about the process, stages of grieving?
Jennifer Garner: Yes, particularly because you can lose someone, you can lose your idea of someone which I think was as hard for her as losing Grady himself, was losing her idea of Grady. So she had to grieve doubly, not just for the loss of her wedding. The very beginning of the movie, her wedding flowers are being brought up to the house and she's standing there at his funeral looking out just imagining herself in that dress and all the things that were supposed to be happening that day, just on a girl level alone. And then the fact that the man himself, her partner and her best friend, her boyfriend and forever the only way she knows life, that he is gone and then her idea of who he was, that he was this straightforward straight and narrow guy who only loved her and never cheated on her, that that has to go away too. But you can go through all that and with the help of friends and with your own introspection, whatever, growing, you can come out better and stronger. That is something that interested me very much.
CraveOnline: How did you feel being the girl in a mostly male cast?
Jennifer Garner: There's nothing better than being a girl in the middle of a group of guys, you know what I mean? It's true. And for women, as hard as it is because there are so many more men's roles than there are women's, typically that's the way it is. Once you get there, you have this big group of guys to play with and they treat you as one of them so I loved it. Was there banter and friendship and them treating me like a dude? Yes, and that was heaven. Although I have to say I think my favorite, well, Kevin Smith is so great but my other favorite, favorite thing about the movie was Juliette Lewis who I think, is she a genius or what? She is so funny and the first day of rehearsals she came in and she was like, "I can't do this. This doesn't make sense to me. I don't think I should be doing this, I can't do this." And then she would start to talk, and I would just be like, "Oh, here she is and I think I love you."
CraveOnline: Will we see less of you now that you’re a mommy?
Jennifer Garner: It'll determine what I do in that just timing-wise, I don't think I can do two huge things back to back anymore. I couldn't do a single lead on a one hour drama anymore. So just on a practical level and then I have to really love something a lot to be willing to not be with my little girl every day. I will have had six months straight with her before I go back to work and that is heaven on earth. But it's great because I have it just so good right now I'm afraid if I even tell you, it'll get screwed up because I'm home with her and I get filled up with her. I'm definitely the primary caregiver all the time but I do have enough meetings for my production company that I find really fun and fascinating and they use my mind in a different way that I do get out of the house.
CraveOnline: What is the biggest surprise about motherhood?
Jennifer Garner: I thought it would be easier. I thought the pull from her would not be as huge as it is. I thought it would be easier for me to work, that I'd be like, "Oh, it's fine, she's here, she's happy." And that actually isn't the case. She is fine. I am the one who is a wreck if I don't get to be with her.
CraveOnline: Are you staying rested?
Jennifer Garner: She is right now, we had four teeth come in at once, that was a rough one but she's a pretty good sleeper and so if you crash out at nine o'clock it's not so bad.
CraveOnline: You seem so happy. Are you waiting for the rug to be pulled from this great life?
Jennifer Garner: I have those moments in the middle of the night of course. I wouldn't be human if I didn't. But I really try just to exist in it and to feel how happy I am and just enjoy it. Life is always going to have hard spots, ups and downs, whatever. So what's the point if you're in one of those spots where there's a balance and there's happiness and joy and health if you don't at least appreciate it and take advantage of it. That was kind of our thing on Alias when things would get really tough, as they do on any series. We would always say to each other, "Let's just appreciate this now because when it's over, we're going to look back and say, 'Oh, remember how great it was to all be together?' and at least if we just know that we're appreciating it while it's happened, we won't feel like it was wasted even though we can think it sucks today at the same time." I mean, my life doesn’t stick today at the same time but I just mean in general, that's kind of my attitude. Just love it.
CraveOnline: When it comes to emotions, are you more open about yours than this character?
Jennifer Garner: Yeah, more than Gray definitely. I just cry more. Sometimes it's harder and sometimes you can't help but babble away about how you're feeling about something but Gray, one of the things that I liked about her was that she was going through this hard time and I don't think she let herself have a ton of emotions. So she's trying to figure out how to go through the grieving process without it being too messy and in the end, it kind of is. It's just a little messy.
CraveOnline: How involved is Kevin with your day to day life?
Jennifer Garner: I think they mostly just write hateful e-mails back and forth. From what I can tell.
CraveOnline: Do you read them?
Jennifer Garner: No. I just hear Ben laughing to himself when he's returning one, maniacally alone.
CraveOnline: Is Ben as profane as Kevin is?
Jennifer: That's probably why I don’t read them. He isn't around me but I have a feeling with Kevin, yes.
CraveOnline: Do you miss kicking ass?
Jennifer Garner: I do like it. I do think it satisfies this part of me I didn't even know was there, and I like the physicality of it in general. I like roles that are physical. I like physical comedy. I don't really care but the action per se, not necessarily but the roles that tend to have action in them, if they're well done, I like. And I love my stunt double so much that I'm always enthused by getting to be with her.
CraveOnline: Do you still train like you did for Alias?
Jennifer Garner: At first, when in finished Alias, I didn't work out for a long time. And I didn't lose my baby weight for a long time. It was just kind of annoying because I just didn't want to. I didn't want to take that hour away from her and work out. Or if she was sleeping, I was exhausted or wanted to just sit and veg or take a nap or something. And then finally this summer, I noticed my own energy had shifted because I wasn't taking care of myself the way that I'd become really accustomed to. So then I just got on a treadmill and started getting back in shape. And I still am, it's slower than I thought it would be because there's something bigger in my life now so I might do 20 minutes where I would have done 45 before.
CraveOnline: Would you work with Ben again now that you're married?
Jennifer Garner: A big part of it is somebody's got to raise the kid, so if we're both at work, that's a bummer for her. But yeah, there's no rush. We're not looking for anything to do together.
CraveOnline: Was there a moment you realized you were famous?
Jennifer Garner: Yeah, I mean, there was a defining moment where I went shopping. This was a long time ago, I've told this story before but it was a big moment in my life. It was the year Alias had come out and I hadn't been out in the world once since July when it started, and it was December and I went Christmas shopping. It was freaky and terrifying. In July I could have gone shopping and nobody would have seen me or said anything. It wouldn't have been a big deal at all, but in December, in that short amount of time, I couldn't even take a step without somebody stopping me and picture and da da da. I had just never been, it never happened to me before so that was the defining [moment].
CraveOnline: How have you coped with fame since then?
Jennifer Garner: Well, I keep my knickers on. [Laughs] I have a strange relationship with it. I think most people do. It's not a comfortable way to live your life. There are great things about it and it's also one of these things, but my life is really great so I find it hard to complain too much.
